By Rabbi Gershon Avtzon – Cincinnati, Ohio
As we prepare for Yud Shevat, and many of us are signing up our children into various Batei Midrash (“Zal”), it is an appropriate time to discuss openly – and have a “reality check” – about this particular age-group and the challenges that they are facing. As someone that has been involved for close to 20 years with Talmidim going from Mesivta to Beis Midrash, and now going through the process with my own son BH, I would like to share my experience and perspective on this particular issue.
The goal of this article is to bring awareness to the parents and Mechanchim, so that the issue can be dealt with in a proactive way. I hope it will be a wake-up call for all those that can have an impact on Bochurim.
I would like to preface by acknowledging that much of our world-view, and expectations, come from our own life-experience. In my personal life, the two most life-changing Chinuch years were the two first years of Beis Midrash. I had attended ULY on Ocean Parkway for my elementary years. I was blessed with a wonderful class, with many that I am very close with today, and then continued for Mesivta in Chovivei Torah.
My years in Mesivta were nice, but not very inspiring. Consider a few of the circumstances that we went through: Our class started Mesivta, two months after Gimmel Tammuz 5754 with a new – and very nice – Menahel trying to establish structure and a system. In addition; Those were the years the teacher strikes were common in the ULY system.
When I entered Beis Midrash – in Yeshivas Lubavitch Toronto – a new world opened up to me: Rabbi (Michoel) Akiva (Gershon) Wagner Shlita – Hashem should send him a Refuah Shleima! – invested his Neshma into our Chinuch and our entire class was permeated with his fire and passion. He was like the dedicated campus Shliach with his college students in Chabad House. He realized that the mind is ready to develop and function properly after the age of 16 – as it is brought down in Hilchos Talmud Torah – and gave us his entire essence. I personally try to give my talmidim a taste of what I experienced.
With the positive experience that I had, I thought that as the Mesivta system – (as a whole) – has improved tremendously over the last two decades (with many more Yeshivos B”H, a much more involved and aware Hanhalla and strong investment in curriculum and tools for learning), the natural result would be that bochurim would really be excelling and growing in Beis Midrash.
Alas, in many cases, this is not the reality. So many of our bochurim go to Beis Midrash and become less inspired and less productive. The same bochurim that were finalists in the “Mivtza Torah” in Mesivta and just barely learning in Beis Midrash. Where did their enthusiasm and idealism go?
I have asked many bochurim to explain to me why this is happening – or happened – to them. I have (generally) received one of the following three responses:
The difference in attitude and mentality of the Hanhalla in Mesivta and Hanhalla of Beis Midrash. While the Mesivta is much more “hands-on” – with the Hanhalla very involved with everything that is going on – the general attitude in Beis Midrash is more “hands-off”. If the bochur is motivated and interested, and approaches the Hanhalla, they will help them. If not, and the Talmid is not an open troublemaker, he can just float through the system.This creates a culture shock and a vacuum for many Talmidim. This is all happening when there is a deep struggle in heart of the average eighteen year old: “Is the Yiddishkeit and Chassidishkeit that I was doing passionately until now for real (was it the real “me”) or just because of my parents or the excitement of Mesivta?”
In addition: Even if the Hanhalla of Beis Midrash try to be actively involved, the ratio of Hanhalla members per Talmid, is significantly lower in Zal than Mesivta. While a standard Mashpia in Mesivta will have between 18-25 Talmidim per shiur, in Zal it can be up to 60 per shiur.
The Smartphone.While most serious bochurim in Mesivta only have regular phones, if they have a phone, many bochurim in Beis Midrash (whether the Hanhalla is aware or not) have their own smartphone. This causes much exposure and distraction and obviously dulls the sensitivity of growing in Avodas Hashem.
Burnout from Mesivta: It is precisely because some of the Mesivtas are run in a very strict and overbearing manner, that many Talmidim burnout when they get to taste some independence and freedom.
[To be very clear: This point (that a full-pressure Mesivta experience causes burnout) does not contradict the first point (that Mesivtas are BH very involved in the growth of the Talmid). The Hanhalla of Mesivtas need to work hard to instill in their Yeshiva a combination of structure and expectations (which produces growth) and happiness and passion (which prevents burnout).]
I would like to add a fourth point, which often does not get enough attention: The lack of proper supervised summer programs for Talmidim leaving Shiur Gimmel Mesivta. Many talmidim become waiters (or general floaters) in overnight camps with minimal responsibility or structure. Many begin negative habits there (drinking (“Bein Hashemashos”?!) and smoking) as well as excessive “screen time”.
We must always be positive and solution-centered. I am writing all this – not to bemoan the system, rather – to bring awareness to the parents and Chavrei Hanhalla:
Parents: Don’t feel that if your son made it to “Zal”, then he is “safe” and you do not have to be as invested in his chinuch and aware of how he is doing. It is a very emotionally fragile age and you must remain attentive and aware. It is imperative that you have open communication with the Hanhalla, and build a connection with at least one of the Talmidei Hashluchim (even for a few dollars) to keep an extra eye on your son.
In addition: Have an open talk with your (young) adult son about the pitfalls of the smartphone and do all in your power to prevent him from transitioning to one (and at the very least to make sure that he has a strong filter).
Chavrei Hanhalla of Mesivta (myself included): Let’s work harder not to be the cause of the burnout that so many Talmidim have spoken to me about. In addition: It is so important to speak with the Shiur Gimmel – while they are in Mesivta – about the trials that they will be facing in Zal and try to give them the right perspective and tools to deal with the new environment that they will be facing.
Chavrei Hanhalla of Zal: Please have a paradigm-shift in your viewing of your Talmidim. While they may look like young adults, they are still so young, impressionable and need (and crave) your attention. This is the age in which they can – and should be – developing their learning depth and their self-image. Don’t fear leading them from the front and give them the guidance and structure in which their true abilities and desire for truth and Hiskashrus can be expressed and grow
To finish with the words the Rebbe wrote to Harav Avraham Paris – right before accepting the Nesius of Yud-shevat: “R. Avraham, we must bring the Rebbe back down here. Like this, it’s difficult; both for me and you. And who benefits from it? With blessing that you will share good tidings soon.”
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Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below, or by sending me a personal email at: rabbiavtzon@gmail.com
The only issue with yeshivas is that they don’t let smartphones, and the bochurim have to hide them, and therefore don’t filter them.
Why does a bochur that age NEED a smartphone? He’ll anyways be using it mostly for movies and sports.
Time has changed and everyone has a smartphone so instead of them having a smartphone with movies and sports make them put a filter on it that they are unable to access those things
If a bochur at a young age gets a smartphone, what do think he’s using it for? To check his email? If you’d like to believe that, be my guest. Most bochurim that bring a smartphone to yeshiva at the beginning of zal, are bochurim that want to watch things (movies, etc.). And you won’t be able to get a filter on their phones, they will just get a second one. After all, they WANT to watch things. It’s not happening by mistake.
Filters don’t work it doesn’t work for the girls it won’t work for the boys
There is no such thing
Unfortunately very untrue I’ve seen first hand a yeshiva think what you said and it was a very average/higher standard yeshiva. Every bochur fell majorly. All day they were on the smartphone. Seeing the outside world, watching til tok, staying up late at night in reality makes every bochur depressed and not happy in yeshiva and then find every excuse that the yeshiva is at fault for being a corrupt system. The Rebbe Rashab made Tomchei temimim and said what’s important and not. Being exposed to the outside is against the whole makeup and accomplishment of a bochur. The fact… Read more »
For some reason, few yeshivos will even admit that their students have smartphones and therefore will not have any flexibility. However, they can learn from some girls schools where attendance is taken by phones, the phones are placed in pockets outside the classroom, where students can access them, but if the phone is not there, it is not counted that they attended the lesson.
still its better than nothing
They do that in the LA Yeshiva but just that they ask your parents if you have smartphones and you have to bring it in a “box” for the entire official Yeshiva day and they put filters etc etc
So wrong. I’m a shlucha in a small area near what’s considered a good Yeshiva. We have Bochurim come once a week. They all sit on their smartphones at any in between time. Their Yeshiva allows it but I’m a simply scared what they are sitting on for so long with their eyes glued.
Besides the questionable content, they loose all the manners, warmth and normal interaction that should be. They sit in my living room, and don’t say a word.
It’s awful.
Why do your kids rebbes , teachers , therapists , bus driver , bus monitor , coach , lunch personal , babysitter , program director need to constantly be on their phones on our kids time? Until we spend our time wisely , Until we have good manners , until we drive and walk safely , why do we expect better from the people we are supposed to be a role model for.
My son was able to get through zal without a smart phone. But being away from home, it was a bit difficult. He could not access Uber, airlines, banking etc.. But, he was able to function well with learning and no distractions.
Another article blaming teachers in a climate and crisis when there are a shortage. Your limited blinders to your specific grievances and concerns are a minutia to the crisis of Mechanchim in 2023.
So stop casting clouds on those devoted and start celebrating those entering the field.
Period.
Oped over
Stop suppressing the honest facts about Yeshivos
and applaud courage
self critism is needed
While I agree that in general there has been too much criticism recently. However bearing in mind the author of the article, a mesivta teacher himself, and bearing in mind the tone of the article, I think this is very much ok and will be well received…
What a real and honest look at our system … thx for writing this
This is so on point! Lots of practical wisdom in this article.
Go visit your son on zal, get a feel of what is like for him.
Also, speak to the rebbeim and mashpiim, let them know that you want to hear how your son is doing. The nature of teachers are that if parents stay in touch they are more likely to give your son that extra bit of kiruv.
Finally, talk and more importantly listen to your son. Even better, find a time to learn with him over the phone. Yes, even in zal.
This is a real issue. I don’t know where my son should spend the summer.
star lake!!
The way to go!
What is star lake
Starl lake is Toronto zals summer program
Best Program!
Unless looking to get a full bachelors from Yeshiva (I can’t think of what that will do for you) do not sign away any of your financial aid to Yeshiva you’ll need it when you leave Yeshiva and realize that yeshiva didn’t qualify for any sort of job other then working in a yeshiva, Gut Voch
You completely disregard the value of learning Torah in yeshiva. According to you, why go to yeshiva at all?
Additionally, yeses spent in yeshiva can be turned into college credits @ places like touro.
Years spent in yeshiva can be legitimized for credits by these institutions like Touro and Sara Schneirer without taking aid just like the girls do
That’s not true for the girls! We actually have to go back to school and study! If only they would take our classes and turn into credits!
They don’t want frum people to know about touro because they want to put kids in a secular college instead
It is inappropriate and insensitive to refer to them as “strikes”. A “strike” is when someone who is getting paid to work refuses to continue working because he’s not satisfied with the amount of money he is getting. He threatens to return to work only when he receives more money.These ULY teachers were not protesting their salary. They were not asking for more money. They were perfectly happy with their contracted salary amount. Their employer simply stopped paying them. So they had to choose between working for free, or finding a different way to feed their families until their employer… Read more »
I don’t think the author was judging the teachers just stating what he went through.
Al pi din both teachers and doctors are required to work for free. It is forbidden to charge money for teaching Torah or for medical care. That is black-letter halacha, undisputed by anyone. Elementary school teachers are allowed to charge for baby-sitting, but only at the same rate as other child-care providers. Once a boy is old enough not to need baby-sitting, the teacher is not allowed to charge anything. Except that if we enforced it very few people could afford to be teachers or doctors, and even fewer would be willing. They have families to support, just like anyone… Read more »
The Rebbe says in a sicha Vayakkhel-Pekudei 5743 that we must work hard to ensure the school teachers are paid in abundance, on time and that it’s responsibility of others to ensure… and if chinuch isn’t how should be because the teacher is distracted by taking care of their livelihood, it’s fault of those who were supposed to take care it and didn’t …
When you work for free, you can expect it from them.
Institutions such as Zal need to recognize the reality that most boys do have a smartphone. Maybe two. Don’t make them hide them. Let’s face it- it’s the truth so at least let them be in the open, with some form of filter, as much as possible. And summer camps employing still teenage boys as staff- yes, they also should have some filter on their phones required even though they’re old enough to be a staff member. These problems aren’t going away and there are always ways around the rules, but there should still be some standard that deals with… Read more »
knowing very intimately the happenings in a zal that tried exactly what the commenters suggested; making the smartphones legal and filtered.
it doesn’t work; it’s distracting to a fault, and plenty of bochurim end up getting two smartphones, one filtered and one not.
And knowing very intimately what happened in zals that made it illegal- they also had two phones- one, a legal fliphone, and one a hidden, unfiltered smartphone. As far as distracting, at least try not to make it need to be hidden, and do what some high schools (Jewish and not), do- make students have to drop their phones in a box, or have a locked case that is magnetized that needs to be opened at end of learning etc. Some form of monitoring!
Point is- instead of just making rules- it’s time for open discussions with Bochurim about smartphones, such as- we know you all have one, here are some guidelines for how they can be used in Yeshiva ex: one hour a day they can have them, and filtered of course. Yes, there will be the hidden ones, but if there is no need to hide the fact that you own one, and bochurim are given one hour a day to have access, and the rest of the time they are locked away in a pouch etc (search up what schools country-wide… Read more »
And sometimes “other” stuff. And for those bochurim your idea is worthless; they’ll get a 2nd smartphone, etc. For these bochurim, hanhala has to ask why are they going to watch movies? Are they feeling good about yeshiva? Are they just used to watching stuff from home, and now it’s an outlet for stress, etc.? And many more scenarios. This is why your solution is no good. Because most bochurim that get a smartphone (at early zal age), it’s not for email. And all your doing is giving bochurim who otherwise wouldn’t have a smartphone, the opportunity to develop a… Read more »
those suggestions: letting them have the phones only by breaks or for an hour etc have all been tried. the point is that its a catch 22 if you are giving the bochurim meaningful restrictions they end up just getting two smartphones, one filtered and one not, and you haven’t helped anything. in fact in some ways you have ruined the experience for the chassidse bochur who wants an innocent pure and fiery atmosphere, because now he feels pressured to buy a smartphone and in the bottom line when smartphones are out in the open there is a change of… Read more »
The churban of camps is outragous! Total hefkerus for a summer during a summer at camp murders bochurim! In day camps after 4 pm the bochurim have freedom to frei and there are plenty of co-ed activities with the girl counsellors. In overnight camps the matzav isn’t much better. Forget about proper avodas ha’tefilah or chassidus before davening. Forget about opening a sefer to learn – even chitas and Rambam are at best zipped thru on a good day. In one summer, 3-4 years of yeshiva growth is flushed down the toilet. All the hard work and promising future –… Read more »
See that is what gets me about the no limidei chol crowd…all of a sudden when it comes to camp, they have no problem with kids not learning torah, they aren’t learning a trade but overnight camp is the chabad thing to do so they aren’t learning anything at all and that’s ok!
Who said that not learning in camp is not a problem?
And yes, overnight camp is something which the Rebbe was passionate about.
Is it possible that recently with smartphones, camp has started to become a place that due to the lack of supervision in this area, it makes Bochurim waste a lot of time on their smartphones?
Yes, this is probably correct.
And it definitely has to be worked on.
But your claim has absolutely no rational validity.
The Rebbe was passionate that CHILDREN should go to camps as CAMPERS.
He NEVER was “passionate” about bochurim stopping to learn for 2 months to hang out in camps.
Camps can hire professional balabateim to staff the positions.
But they won’t because they want cheap labor or free labor!!!
A lot of other from camps hire married people to be staff, they also have a better sense of responsibility. More summer learning programs with fun activities for zal age bochurim should be made. Although I went to camp myself as a bochur, unfortunately the standards for yiddeshkeit are lowered.
So you want these kids that would be doing who knows what on their phones to stop going to a camp that helps social interaction and helps kids learn in times they don’t really want to be (kids
, teens and even adults just want to have fun in summer)
Just being a little too judgmental, spewing hatred at a system that was set up after the Rebbe spoke a fiery sicha about chinuch al taharas hakodesh, and was done with the Rebbe’s full support.
The other chassidish communities have learning camps run by the yeshiva. Learn from them. Camps charge full tilt to parents of kids (much more per month than yeshivas – and yeshivos need to pay salaries to Rebbes, provide better food and dorms which cost more than rural bunk houses)… Camps are raking in big bucks and then when the kids are older they use them as bochurim for cheap labor to staff the camps! The culture became that camps have too many applicant bochurim trying to get in, doing the bochur a favor by letting him work for the camp… Read more »
Some people say that yeshivos need to implement a system with allowing smartphones, but I beg to differ. I think chinuch starts at the home (please correct me if I’m wrong on that one), and if a bochur wants a smartphone while he’s in zal, then obviously his parents (if they educate him in the proper Yiddishe way) should be able to tell him no, he doesn’t need it at this age, he won’t be doing enough productive things on it to justify him getting it, and that the main thing is that it’ll disturb his learning in yeshiva (and… Read more »
The chabad approach is to embrace technology, not call for asifas and bans like the other groups who fear the rest of the world
The Rebbe made an asifa (Farbrengen) and band the Technology of TV explaining the fear (a galach in the home) like the rest of the world.
Technology is not a yid who lost his way that we need to always embrace.
Technology is a means to use for positive things with the apropiate limitations.
Really, that’s the chabad way? I am old enough to remember television, which was also “technology” and the Rebbe was totally against it.
Which “Chabad” did you pull that from?
Is there a source for this?
Embracing technology doesn’t mean watching movies.
Any Jewish family that lives in America is watching movies period. You just have to make sure if your child is gonna be on technology it’s like once a week or maybe a movie once a month because other families in even the frummest communities will have Netflix and allow their kids to watch ANYTHING unintentionally
Is it justifiable that lots of Lubavitcher parents let their kids watch movies because ‘thats what everyone else does’?
Are you saying that it’s ok to do what everyone else (even among the frum crowd) is doing?
If that’s how you look at it, then you’re throwing away Chassidishe values in exchange for the common approach, which is 100% against shitas Chabad.
Most chabad families I know dont have netflix
Time to take data and see which approach is more successful are yeshiva guys better off without smartphones?
The Rebbe was actually AGAINST most new medical technology such as contact lenses and even ultrasound for pregnancy. There was NEVER a green light to allow televisions – even though it could be used to view satellite broadcasted farbrengens. In fact, he was VERY critical of televisions in Jewish homes. A television is small potatoes compared to the access of tv and ALL other viewings available on a smart phone. The television is like a literary brochure while the smart phone is like the full novel. And the tv can only be accessed at home while the smart phone is… Read more »
You make it sound as if there’s a perfect recipe for parents to do right and their kids will turn out right. Some kids are a lot more I dependent than you address. They do t just ask Mommy and Totty for a smartphone, Mommy and Totty say no and all is good. This world is a lot more complex than that! Even for parents who are trying to do all the right things!
But maybe if the parents actually cared enough to speak this issue through with their children, we wouldn’t come to the situation we have today that at least half of the bochurim in most zals are handed a phone by their parents. (Yes, their are those few that get it on their own, but let’s be honest- most bochurim don’t do that).
And they are probably reading this article
It’s not a secret just reality
and have probably authored another 6 op-eds
Bochurim can you confirm?
Most of the comments are not written by bochurim. They spend their whole day in yeshiva and their spare time talking about camp.
Actually writing this on my computer while I’m texting someone on my phone while music plays in the background on my iPad
Why is there no program for bochrim finishing shiur gimmel mesivta? It’s not ok, no boys should be left with nothing to do. Please change this! Zal should require they stay in a learning program to be accepted. Mesivtas should include the summer in order to graduate.
May the powers that be please change this now, for this year!!
The reality is that the vast majority of boys are not capable of sitting and learning for 12 hours a day and it is completely unrealistic to expect that of them. Let boys pursue their own passions in whatever subjects they want to earn a livelihood, and they won’t burnout, and will continue to spend their remaining time learning Torah with Chayus.
You cant make that a blanket statement for all bochurim.
Each bochur should pursue the Yeshiva that is appropriate for him.
That would be great, if there were more options of different types of Yeshivas, not just a variety of places that all have the same basic program. The options shouldn’t be regular Yeshiva or one for “kids at risk”. There are many bochurim who want to be frum and Chassidish and just can’t handle the regular schedule and curriculum. But there aren’t many options of different types of places.
Are you a Lubavitcher?
Or are you stam speaking nonsense?
Just want to point out that the Rebbe said many times (especially in Likkutei Sichos Chelek Alef) that bochurim shouldn’t worry about inyanei tachlis- how they’ll get a job, because it’s the Aibishter’s job to worry about that.
It’s not that zal is unrealistic, as the commenter’s headline says. That is not true. What is unrealistic is the idea that all bochurim should be in zal. When you read that zal is unrealistic, I’m sure everyone’s first reaction was to reject it, because if it’s unrealistic now how was it realistic 50 or 100 or 200 years ago? How did the Rebbe N”E institute an unrealistic Tomchei Temimim that the majority of bochurim can’t hack? And the answer is, he didn’t. Neither Tomchei Temimim nor any other yeshivah was intended for everyone. Yeshivos were intended only for that… Read more »
Not the gas station, its the hours of oroginal tomchei tmimim in lubavitch schedule 7am to 11pm
The hours of the seder changed from tomchei tmimim to what we have nowadays. I wonder if anyones knows how that was decided. And learn if the idea can be applied nowadays to make a yeshiva tomchei tmimim with a more “reasonable” hours.
Like state above, there are many many boys that have the right intention but are afraid of the long hours, they own limud level and generall strictness that a thomchei tmimim yeshiva will typically have (sometimes for the good, sometimes..)
The Rebbe shortened it…
But do we know what was the reasoning behind it?. Maybe we can apply that for (some) yeshivos.
If that’s what you are convincing yourself and telling Bochurim… then you will probably create that reality.
But the facts are, that the Rebbeim set up the Yeshiva system, and countless Bochurim have gone through it. I’m not saying it’s for everyone. But, many Bochurim are easily able to do just fine, if they would just have the push and motivation that it’s possible. Comments like yours don’t help and just ruin people’s potential.
I’m a few years older than the author and my experience is not that much different than his. There’s one thing he may be missing. He writes: “I thought that as the Mesivta system – (as a whole) – has improved tremendously over the last two decades (with many more Yeshivos B”H, a much more involved and aware Hanhalla and strong investment in curriculum and tools for learning), the natural result would be that bochurim would really be excelling and growing in Beis Midrash.” Here’s my take, the yeshiva system did get much better but at the same time it… Read more »
I don’t get it. If you say that they aren’t interested in learning ‘just those 2 subjects’, then what’s the point of taking up a spot in a zal if that’s how you look at it? You’re just preventing someone else from attending that zal (*someone else that couldn’t get in to a zal because it was full), that’s it.
Thank you for writing this, I think its a great addition to the post. Life is not black and white.
It would be nice that yeshivos make a point on going together from time to time on day trip, just to have sport and bbq. And make it part of seder to go outside,and TOGETHER! (I emphasize this because of certain (maybe more) yeshiva that although its very famous, it has this problem of not having enough achdus between bochurim, specially when they come from different countries)
Lots of girls need shidduchim
“Many begin negative habits there (drinking (“Bein Hashemashos”?!) and smoking) as well as excessive “screen time”.
Unfortunately that quote sums up the policy in yeshivas, and it’s not working!
Ever young adult is going to experiment with these things, the way yeshiavh’s like Cincinnati and similar deal with it I.e
ZERO TOLERANCE doesn’t work!
The yeshivah’s that think they will not allow any of these things are failing their students, and their stubbornness to adopt to the new generation is doing harm.
Young adults won’t necessarily (not always,but MOST of the time) explore these things if they get the proper chinuch at home, and have parents that are a good example for them.
But if they grow up with a father who gets drunk sometimes at kiddushim (not even at a CHASSIDISHE farbrengen), and have parents that follow sports and allow their kids to watch movies, then what kind of values are they teaching their children?
This comment was clearly written by an immature teenager
I completely agree that the boys don’t need smart phones ! Do all adults need them. Why are our kids teachers on their toys! Therapists that are being paid TOP dollar ( supposedly to help your kids !?!?) your kids soccer coach, camp staff , bus driver , baby sitter and whomever else. Until our kids adults get over their addiction to their phones , how to expect the kids to do otherwise.
The smart phone of today = The haskolah books of yesteryear.
The yeshivos prohibited bochurim from accessing haskolah books, period. They knew such material cannot coexist with being frum.
Bochurim that had haskolah books were thrown out of yeshiva, period.
The same applies to smart phones. The truth ain’t pretty.
This is 100% true. But the bochurim’s parents and teachers and Rosh Yeshivas didn’t own haskalah books…let alone sit all day addicted to them!
It needs to be that all the people involved in our children’s chinuch across the board show that unfiltered smartphones are TREIF – just like Televisions used to be…
If it’s too hard to accept that then how can you accept the bochurim to do any different than their role models?
Every kid knows that there are age limits!
A child cannot drive a car. Seeing adults drive doesn’t mean that the chikd can drive.
A child cannot buy alcohol or cigarettes. When he sees an adult buy he doesn’t think that just because the adult does so, he can too.
The same with smart phones. Just because a bochur sees his hanholah or parent with it – it doesn’t mean he can.
Some things are for grownups only – after they are married. Every kid knows that. So do bochurim.
NO
Smartphones are designed purposely to be addictive much more so than any of the examples you mention. They are also the cause of serious spiritual damage. So yes, adults who don’t want to filter the smartphones will always say it’s only for adults, but that’s just because they don’t want limits on themselves.
Attitudes like that have ruined a whole generation R”L
INCORRECT. banning smartphones will only make them hide it more. the yeshivos which allow smartphones for the purpose of teaching healthy use are doing amazing things even if it can’t be seen from the outside. what boys are doing alone in their rooms at night with their phones is being stopped by these yeshivos. Banning smartphones is doing more damage than good. How can a bochur get help if the issue will get him kicked out? the rebbe taught that everything is created for good INCLUDING SMARTPHONES we just have to use them correctly.
The Hanholos have to take their heads out of the sand. The issues with technology have to be addressed in elementary schools. Every school should make the “MUST” ideology a must!! Its a great system and would take the pressure off the parents and schools having to deal with these problems. The kids have to be educated on how detrimental over usage of technology can be. To the extent that they themselves wont want it.
And this leads right into the next shmoped how this is causing the lack of experience in bochurim to be irresponsible mechanchim . see, if you just dont think about it for a second it all fits together .
I’m 17 I have a smartphone in my personal opinion I think bocherim are perfectly capable of controlling themself and the fact you think
there would be a problem in the first place paints a picture of our bochurim that they
are a bunch teens watching bad things