By Rabbi Gershon Avtzon
This week, we begin the month of Sivan and the “shloshim Yom Lifnei” preparations for the holy day of Gimmel Tammuz begin in earnest.
The two words “Gimmel Tammuz” bring out strong and very diverse emotions and sensitivities in people. I feel that it is time for an open and honest Chinuch discussion about how we educate children, and ourselves, in our (temporary but) current situation.
Why write about such a sensitive and personal subject?
This past Tishrei, I was walking home from 770 with a relative. He, who is also involved in Chinuch for many years, asked for my thoughts on the fact that new Yeshivos had opened recently. I thought he was asking about the fact that we now have more “competition” and I told him that I think that it is very good and beneficial.
He said I misunderstood the depth of his question. He then rephrased the question as follows: “What do you feel about the Chinuch in a Yeshiva in which all the machanchim were born after Gimmel Tammuz and never saw the Rebbe?”
I was not ready or prepared for such a loaded question. My initial and gut response was to say that, in a certain way, they can relate much better to the Talmidim – as they both had to deal with the same questions and challenges – but regardless, this very open and direct question challenged me to think deeply about the various different approaches of how to speak about the Rebbe today.
Agenda driven?
Before I share my own thoughts on this very personal and sensitive topic, I would like to share a general Chinuch concept:
Every Parent and Mossad Chinuch should have an “agenda” – a shita that they are trying to instill in their talmidim. One of the issues in Chinuch today, especially when it comes to sensitive topics, is that we avoid talking clearly about the subject. This creates a vacuum of uncertainty and confusion. We need to give our children and talmidim firm and secure foundations upon which they can build their own beautiful and personal structures.
A Yeshiva which claims to be without an agenda, or if the Hanhala themselves are not on the same page and the talmidim receive a conflicting message, is doing a tremendous disservice to their students. To echo the words of Eliyahu Hanavi: “How much longer will you continue straddling both sides of the fence?”
I would like to share four foundations that (I feel) are crucial to the chinuch of our youth today:
“Moshe Emes. Every talmid must know that we have a Rebbe that is with us today and that they can personally connect with the Rebbe today. They can write to the Rebbe today, via the Ohel and Igros Kodesh, and receive direct answers from the Rebbe to their individual challenges.
Hiskashrus can’t be based only on the zichronos of their parents, grandparents or mechanchim. Our children and talmidim need to feel that the Rebbe is their Rebbe today. Only then, will they be ready to commit themselves to the Rebbe. Zichoronos are important, but “Malchios is before Zichoronos” – our children must feel that the Rebbe is current. The Rebbe should be spoken about in current terms as that will penetrate the (sub)consciousness of the child.
Our children need to be told clearly that they can write their questions, concerns and feelings to the Rebbe and receive answers from the Rebbe today. I can’t adequately describe in words the change that I see in bochurim’s behavior and Hiskashrus after they receive their first personal answer from the Rebbe through the Igros Kodesh. Their neshamos are lit up and their hearts opened to receive and internalize what Chassidus has to tell them.
“Toraso Emes” – Every word that the Rebbe said is truthful, factual and actual. The Rebbe’s Nevuah about Moshiach is real and happening. The Rebbe’s sichos speaking about the mission of our generation, and the everlasting life of our Nassi, is real and emes. If we Cha”v tell our children or Talmidim that the Rebbe’s words were wishful thinking, or that “the Rebbe tried” (it was an “Eis Ratzon”) but wasn’t successful , it destroys – in the mind and hearts of our children – everything else that the Rebbe said.
Our children need to know that everything the Rebbe said is true and eternal and they should never be ashamed of anything that the Rebbe said, edited or allowed to be publicized.
This is how Chassidim felt and acted in the years 5751-5754 and this is the way we should be acting today. One of the greatest compliments that I ever received was from a parent that told me that the way he describes the way the Yeshiva is Cincinnati operates is that “they did not get the memo (that gimmel Tammuz happened) and that they continue to believe with a pshitus like we all did in 5753”.
It is perfectly fine not to understand how two opposite true facts (knowing that “Gimmel Tammuz” occurred and thus we go to the Ohel, and the Rebbe being physically with us today) coincide.
To elaborate: Most of us probably feel sad (to say the least) when you see young bochurim that have created a “fantasy Rebbe” for themselves. They do not go to the Ohel and they convince themselves that the Rebbe is physically walking, talking, giving dollars, Kos Shel Bracha and other such activities.
[This should not be confused with the very important expressions of Emunah and Tzipiya which are expressed in setting up the Rebbe’s place by davening in and general Farbrengens in 770.]
It is also very sad (to say the least) that there are bochurim that don’t visit 770, don’t have a focus on Moshiach and spreading the Rebbe’s clear prophecy and feel that the Rebbe’s real leadership finished in 5754.
While these two groups of bochurim may act in opposite ways, they really both have the same mindset. They are both dealing with an obvious intellectual contradiction: On the one hand we all witnessed “Gimmel Tammuz” and on the other hand the Rebbe made it clear that in every generation there needs to be a physical Moshe Rabbeinu.
The rational mind, without proper Torah and Chassidishe guidance, can’t handle living with this contradiction. One group of bochurim decided to just “not understand” Gimmel Tammuz (and thus they create a “living Rebbe” etc) and the other group decided to “not understand” the sichos of the Rebbe (and just ignore the Sichos that speak about Moshiach and the life of the Nassi). In truth, both conclusions are the same: In their minds, things are “clear” – as one reality is ignored – without any contradictions. These are both very faulty conclusions.
The proper path, in my opinion, is very different: The foundation must be (in the words of the Rebbe in Igros volume 3 page 54) “There is a Rebbe among the Jewish people, that he is not bound by the limitations of nature, and that a person who wants to follow a secure path — be it in business or in directing his household — should not raise his hand without asking the Rebbe.” In simple words: We have full Emunah that the Rebbe is our Nassi and with us today, and we can receive answers from the Rebbe, and still go to Ohel to daven etc.
Although this approach – to understand that we don’t understand two existing and simultaneously opposing realities – seems to defy logic and reason, it is not new for a chassid. We are constantly taught to live with “Nimna Hanimnaos – two seemingly opposites that coincide together” as a Yid and Chassid. We embrace the fact that we can’t understand everything and that itself is part of our motivation to break out of this Galus.
[There are those that do not participate in the “dollars-style” activities (as they realize that it is a mistaken ideology) but still do not go to the Ohel. While I do not agree with this hashkafa, it is not the subject of this article.]
The constant focus that this concealment is temporary and that at any moment the Rebbe will return and take us out of Galus. This is the greatest source of optimism, excitement and connection. This is the ultimate driving force in the Hiskashrus of a Chassid today. It also creates the true feeling of accountability to the Rebbe, which is so vital and important for every chassid.
In the words of the Rebbe (Va’era 5752): “In addition: The knowledge and recognition that – at any moment – the Rebbe will be coming and looking at each individual Chassid (to see where they are holding in their Avodah) will inspire the Chassid to do their Avodah in its fullest sense.”
Iy”h we will be reunited with the Rebbe, Vehu Yigaleinu, and there will be no need to have this discussion!
If you have comments, questions or ideas, please write in the comment section below or email me directly at rabbiavtzon@gmail.com
When its says in taanis daf 5 that yaakov avinu didnt die, it dosnt mean that he is still walking on the streets of chevron.
Which is part of what R. Avtzon is saying. Read the paragraph beginning “To elaborate.”
but it does mean he is alive
What does it mean to write to Igros Kodesh? I’ve never heard anyone saying that the Rebbe told them to do that. Is that something made up after Gimmel Tamuz?
Chassidim in Russia did that when they weren’t able to contact the Rebbe through the regular mail.
The put the letter in the Igros, but they didn’t afterwards open it and consider the page’s letter to be their ansewr
It’s a kosher minhag begun when Chasidim, including notably Rav Gluckowsky, began learning the Igros as Torah, and noticed answers to questions both personal and communal.
There are two parts to your question: 1) putting the letter for the Rebbe in his sefer, and 2) preferring Igros Kodesh over other seforim. Putting the letter in the sefer: this is an age-old custom of chassidim for generations. When you cannot deliver the letter to the Rebbe, you deliver it by putting it in his sefer. For example, in the Rebbe’s famous letter before the first yartzeit of Yud Shevat (dated Rosh Chodesh Shevat 5711), the Rebbe instructs to put the Po”n between the pages of a sefer of the Frediker Rebbe; bringing it to the Ohel is… Read more »
You write to the rebbe and if you can’t take it to the rebbe (in today’s days the ohel) you are supposed to store it in one of the Rebbe’s safarim until you can take it. People often use the igros for that and look at the page they opened to to see if there’s an answer
Right before gimmel tammuz the Rebbe rushed the secretariats to print out the Igors kodesh so that we will be able to communicate with the Rebbe because He knew what was going to happen and his chassidim will need it… the Rebbe did it for us!
throughout the jewish history when we needed Divine guidance we would look into the Torah, either looking into a sefer, Torah beholds everything even our answers the rebbe would send tanya’s and people would look inside for their answers, Mordechai Hayehudi went to Yeshiva and ask randomly children, what did you learn in Yeshiva, so Igros Kodesh is no new novelty. i understand that 1 group didn’t come up with it ,so they try to knock it down ( oh well , get over it) And to clarify, we dont write into the Igros, we write a letter to the… Read more »
My grandparents came from Yemen and they had a custom to opening up the rambam as we do with איגרות קודש.
Thank you Rabbi Avtzon for writing. I’m a Bachur after Gimmel Tammuz and the take away line for me is that you acknowledge the 2 feelings and it’s okay to have both feelings similar to how Nimna Hanimnaos. Kind of also the way Hashem is ever present and hasgocho protis together with teva that conceals.
Brave of you, and so true.
We need to hear these things not be left to put the pieces together ourselves
The Rebbe spoke to us about his histalkus exactly one time. The Rebbe provided us guidance and hadracha on how chasidim should live in this time. It’s a pelah to me that michanchim and mashpim would rather put forth their own viewpoints (that are often heipich the Rebbe’s rotzon r”l). There is little in what R’ Avtzon writes that seems congruent to what the Rebbe tought us on this. As we near 30 years of our Rebbe’s histalkus, please everyone that is struggling with “gimmel tammuz” learn this. May it bring us all increased hiskashrous and may we be zocha… Read more »
The Rebbe explains that the main thing missing is true understanding of Ein Od Milvado. Moshiach’s job is to help people heal through explaining everything. Sadly, there is so much confusion because lofty ideas where shared in simple language and so many people are tied to their basic understanding especially how it was then given over by people who never understood themselves. Its a shame. The Tanya tries to explain Judaism & Torah through the Posuk Ki Koruv Elecha. The whole Torah & everything we have been taught is not something far away. Its as close to us as it… Read more »
The Rebbe spoke about the concept on more than one occasion..
Where else does the Rebbe speak to all chasidim about his histalkus? I’m not talking about concepts or about yimos hamoshiach. I’m asking where the Rebbe addresses directly his own histalkus anywhere but in this sicha?
Quite the presumptive headline “…Our Gimmel Tammuz Reality” – as if there’s a universal definition of reality in this topic. (And, other than hope, there’s no longer basis to think that this “…temporary but current” world not last your lifetime and beyond, so “temporary” means what?) This discussion you’d like seems to still not be sufficiently open and honest. 1994 created the questions of what the terms “generation” and “living” and “lifetime” and “rebbe” mean. That’s what needs to be discussed. What they meant pre 1994 was pretty clear. What they mean today, is the discussion. Everyone now is part… Read more »
All I can say is… AD MASAI!!!
Very well written. Thank you Rabbi Avtzon
Explained so clearly, logically, and understanding of “both sides”. Thanks for this.
Nice job!
I really enjoyed this article.
It would be really nice for someone to publicly share an account of the events that led up to the day it self and what it was like on that day?
It’s very odd to me (that does not remember that time) that it is hard to find a yuman written… it plays such a big role in who we are today.
I’m not just referring to the sadness but also how a chosid picked him self up from the state of sadness and strengthened his emunah
Most chassidim (perhaps naively, perhaps emunah peshuta) believed the day would never happen. We believed 27 adar would lead to moshiach.
3 Tammuz ripped chassidim apart. Some were convinced this was the final step and we’re therefore dancing and drinking, others were mourning and crying.
Since then we’re stuck.
Rabbi Zalmy Heber wrote something up a few years ago. I’m not sure where to find it but it was a very descriptive yuman of that terrible day
https://collive.com/bochurs-diary-of-gimmel-tammuz/
Been waiting to hear someone finally say that it’s okay to not know it all! Since when do Yidden feel the need to know all the details?? We know we have a Rebbe and that in order for the world to be sustained there needs to be a Moshe physically AND we know something happened on gimmel Tammuz. Does that take away anything from the first half? Two truths can exist and we just need to know that we don’t fully understand it yet.
Everyone agrees we have a Rebbe! As someone who grew up post Gimmel Tammuz with the anti chinuch, I feel the absolute betrayal from the suppression of the Dvar Malchus. The sichos are practical and relatable and I can’t get enough. We were gaslighted by being told -“We are living in the most challenging times in all of history.” – “Yechi is problematic” – “Before gimmel Tammuz we would never even think of doing an an aveira” And by omitting that we are in galus but also yemos HaMoshiach. We can do better and we are. This cycle of suppressing… Read more »
Yechi is not problematic
This needed to be said
Very well said. Ty for clarifying and putting it in simple words! Mashiach Now!
Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
From a bochur
I feel like in the last few years we have all realized that we can get along with the so-called “other side” and that we are now much more together and accepting of each other. im sure this gives the Rebbe much nachas and we need to continue in a growing way and not let politics get in our way.
I goota say col is a good place to let out all your hergeishim
Although i agree with the author on most things here and commend him for writing this article i would just like to point out something a bit hypocritical that shows light on the authors bias view point which is; whilst the author is careful to note that he isn’t condeming the opinion that some have not to go to the Ohel ever. he does say “It is also very sad (to say the least) that there are bochurim that don’t visit 770”. why just because he doesnt hold so can he not respect those that hold that the Rebbe is… Read more »
The rebbe spoke about the holiness of the place in קונטרס בית רבינו שבבל. that’s why it’s sad.
While I must say it is a very nice article , but to call emuna pshuta of the buchrim that the Rebbe is physically alive in 770 and continues all the activities as regular emagantion? I totally disagree, these buchrim follow what is written in chassidus that when you come to a nisoyon you are not mitchasev it at all .
So why did none of these guys do these dollars and things after chaf zayen adar? was it not a nisayon?
Why didnt the Rebbe do this stuff about the fridiker Rebbe? The Rebbe himself said that its a nisayon (12 tammuz 5711 and more)
Sometimes it feels like with the time, that maybe it’s easier to not publicize all the sichos that are hard to explain to the outside world, and focus on the nice “cute” vertelach from the earlier sichos, the ones that will be accepted by everyone and earn a nice round of applause. However I know this is not the correct approach, and I am trying to work on myself to fully present the Rebbe for who he is, without mixing in my own earthly understanding into it.
Lchaim!
as a mechanech i witnessed many students who were on the verge of losing all faith as a result of the approach the author is advocating. They were not able to relate to the concepts the author writes about and because of this felt alienated from faith in general. it important to keep our eyes on the goal; emunah and chayos in hashem torah and chassidus. There are different approaches that work for different people with diverse types of minds. I have seen yeshivos with hanhola members that have different approaches attitudes temperaments and modes of expression regarding such subjects,… Read more »
This mechanech is spot on. It must be addressed and is a matter of pikuach nefesh. I know more than one parent who’s children ended up depressed with years of turmoil and recovery because of the mental gymnastics put forth in this oped. Hashem yishmor.
There shouldn’t be discussion around this stuff. Just read what the Rebbe himself said and printed and let everyone make there conclusion. It’s pretty straightforward even if it awkward and embarrassing. Dont ask look up the sources and understand however you understand. Ohr in Kelim , God in the world , nature wont change the world wil continue as is. Mashiach is a change in perspective and awareness
I totally agree with the wisdom of Rabbi Avtzon….however if I may add
The Rebbe wanted that each should have a rav to guide him……in the present darkness …when we physically don’t see and hear the Rebbe…
Perhaps a rav or Mashpia can set things staright… ולא יעשה דברי רבינו כשתי תורות ח”ו
-But your from the before Gimmel Tamuz generation
ABOUT TIME WE SPEAK ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS HOLDING ON TIGHT TO OUR EMUNAH AT THESE LAST MOMENTS WHEN THE “TZAD SHEKENEGED” IS DOING EVERYTHING TO STOP US FROM HOLDING ON AND FOCUSING ON WHAT WE ARE SUPPOSED TO!
Firstly, great article – this needed to be said. I believe the fact our mechanchim are failing in this area is because ‘disagreement’ comes from the ‘top’ – the fact thar there are 2 kinusim is embarrassing. The Rebbe clearly told us bringing Moshiach requires “combining the lights of tohu with the keilim of tikun” and what have we done? One side of chabad took the lights of tohu and the other took side the keilim of tikun – the exact thing the Rebbe told us NOT to do. In my years of studying after Yeshiva (which did nothing to… Read more »
You are correctly quoting Rambam Hilchos Deos Perek Alef, Halacha Daled.
Maybe you can clarify the next halacha, which says that a Chassid does deviate to one extreme?
Looking forward to a warm discussion 🙂
Rambam quoted here for convenience: “The pious of the early generations would bend their temperaments from the intermediate path towards [either of] the two extremes. For some traits they would veer towards the final extreme, for others, towards the first extreme. This is referred to as [behavior] beyond the measure of the law.”
I asked dr feldman if it was crazy thinking that i got answers at the ohel. This was dr feldman’s answer. ” you have no idea of the power of the ohel.” Dr feldman told me the rebbe was still sending him patients. He told me the story of a mother desperate for a cure for her sick child who had never heard of dr feldman. At the ohel she understood she had to take her child to dr feldman and had to ask who dr feldman was Dr feldman cured the child The rebbe said he would find a… Read more »
See ס׳ מאמרי אדמו״ר הזקן תקס״ח עמ׳ רפ״ג
& the pages preceding it
Interestingly, the famous question of why Akeidas Yitzchak was the final and most difficult challenge of Avrohom Avinu is met with many answers. After all, this was a direct communication by Hashem. Throughout Jewish history, many Jews gave up their lives and their childrens’ lives Al Kiddush Hashem, and they weren’t commanded directly from Hashem as Avrahom was. So what was Avrohom’s Nisoyon? Some explain that it was the ‘Vayashkeim Avrohom Baboker’s attitude of Avrohom demonstrating Avrohom’s Zerizus and excitement in fulfilling this Mitzvah. Others say that it was Avrohom not questioning Hashem of the promise that was made how… Read more »
In Russia they made a fake train and who joined that train eventually left Russia
That’s how I connect to dollar activities…
Who made a fake train?
This article is spot on, and addressed a lot of the confusion I had as a bochur a few years ago
I have a nephew in Chabad. In his company, I’ve been to the Ohel twice and left requests for the Rebbe. I received nothing remotely resembling an answer – nor did I have any sort of “feeling” while I was there. As an unobservant Jew, these experiences did nothing to lead me toward either observance or any sort of belief. If anyone responds to this (if it even gets posted), it will of course involve my being told that I didn’t receive a reply because I didn’t believe, or that the Rebbe did reply but I lacked the “emunah” to… Read more »
In response, Honestly, I also don’t necessarily Feel anything specific when I go to the Ohel, I’m not trembling of awe or excited, [I hear the stories of people going into Yechidus or going by the Rebbe by dollars and they are overwhelmed or very much focused, I try to compare it to when I go into the ohel, but visiting the stone walls aren’t so conducive to too much feeling] But what I do know, [and I get this from hearing stories of how the Rebbe went to the Ohel and seeing what the Rebbe wrote about it], is… Read more »
Rebbe didn’t come up to do favors for us so we could relax and live a stress free life. He’s our Rebbe to tell us what to do to change the world. Be there for every Jew no matter the level of observance or where they happen to be in the world. Learn technology to do good things with it. Teach non Jews that there’s a place for them instead of sheltering from anyone that does not look like us. And if it gets tough to carry this all out then we can ask for help but any possible help… Read more »
Some of you may have read the Sefer Ashkavta D’rebbi, a diary that a Ben Bayis by the Rebbe Rashab wrote, describing in outstanding detail and clarity the lead up and Histalkus of the Rebbe Rashab.I think it would be amazing if someone were to write one about Gimmel Tammuz.