ב"ה
Friday, 18 Nisan, 5784
  |  April 26, 2024

Dear Frum Social Media Influencers…

From the COLlive inbox: As a mother of teens, there is much to be said about the effects of social media. But I'd like to address the frum influencers who are on the platforms and are creating content. Full Story

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All due respect
April 16, 2023 9:45 pm

Please first fix the tznuis issue on Kingston instead of trying to find another pointing blame finger on a influencer just because you get to know the influencer and people walking on Kingston you wouldnt have the nerve to tell them so…
everyone always points fingers at others but never at themselves…

reality
Reply to  All due respect
April 16, 2023 9:59 pm

there are more teens on social media vs Kingston ave

And how do you propose…
Reply to  All due respect
April 16, 2023 10:49 pm

…that the writer “fix the tznius problem on Kingston Avenue”? What you’re saying amounts to that since you can’t fix everything, don’t bother trying to fix anything. Which sounds an awful lot like atzas hayetzer.

Ah ah
Reply to  And how do you propose…
April 16, 2023 11:19 pm

Atzas hayetzer at its finest

Which is exactly the point
Reply to  And how do you propose…
April 16, 2023 11:58 pm

No one is planning to fix anything so please stop complaining about others when you have work to do in that exact same subject yourself. Its childish. Funny, how I’m seeing there is so much “help out there” programs, rebbetzin lectures etc… that the problem magically keeps on getting more and more, and totally out of hand on Kingston. So are the programs or opeds really helping? Point: YOU stop creating problems altogether.

Say what?
Reply to  Which is exactly the point
April 17, 2023 8:20 am

“No one is planning to fix anything”? Speak for yourself. But to say “fix everything or don’t bother fixing anything” is childish, not what the Torah teaches us and not what the Rebbe taught us.

Yeah I said it
Reply to  Say what?
April 17, 2023 9:33 am

I’m not speaking for myself, I’m speaking for teens – dozens of them who SEE that no one is there for help but only for selfish gains which is very childish. Adults have no intention of fixing anything. you want to hide behind the Torah and the Rebbe? Why? YOU even cant speak for yourself that you have to add Torah and the Rebbe into it. The Rebbe said ” YOU do all that YOU can”… I’m still waiting after 32 years for someone to do something. maybe you are “doing” as you will argue but 32 years later speak… Read more »

Really, now?
Reply to  Yeah I said it
April 17, 2023 3:09 pm

Yes, it is childish and wrongheaded to believe, as you do, that “no one is there for help but only for selfish gains” or that “no one is doing anything.” We have a community with many people who are doing things quite selflessly, and it would be nice if you could at least recognize them.

Sure
Reply to  Really, now?
April 17, 2023 3:43 pm

I believe it because I see it. Proove me wrong?! 32 years?! You want to deny that and live your life a lie?! your choice that doesnt mean it’s right. I’ll recognize them, when they start doing things. You cant force respect, you have to earn it.

So you don’t know about…
Reply to  Sure
April 18, 2023 8:39 am

…CSSY and the numerous families they’ve helped? KSCVK? Bikkur Cholim? Gemachs of all kinds? Aliya? Friendship Circle? All of the volunteers for those organizations and many more have been “doing things” for those 32 years and more. What have you done, besides complaining?

Agreed
Reply to  All due respect
April 18, 2023 12:46 pm

The blatant lack of tznius is so overwhelming on Kingston. Married women wearing a decent shaitel-then look down-accompanied by short sleeves, VERY open necks where cleavage is visible, mid thigh Skirts (wearing pants underneath doesn’t make it more modest). Oh. Also, walking with their husband who has a long beard and looks distinguished and respected. And many of these women know better-they grew up in nice frum homes and send their kids to a frum school. Now, I am no rebbetzin but tznius starts in the home.

Wow, way to miss the point…
April 16, 2023 9:51 pm

These frum social media influencers discuss THEIR lives as frum Jews. Frumkeit means different things to different people, and everyone struggles with something. If you don’t want your daughter emulating that, THAT’S YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. Do not put the onus on someone else.

What a way to miss the point lol
Reply to  Wow, way to miss the point…
April 16, 2023 10:04 pm

Yea

Not quiet
Reply to  Wow, way to miss the point…
April 16, 2023 10:17 pm

Unfortunately, with everything at teens fingertips ( even if a parent doesn’t allow it in their home , they easily get it from a friend ) it’s a lot more challenging for the best and best of role model parents to keep the horrible affects of social media on their children. Unfortunately , most “influencers” ( terrible that these are what they are called and the power they have ) need attention and will do anything for it. ( it can be super subtle , Almost inspiring which is why it’s so detrimental)

“Different things to different people”
Reply to  Wow, way to miss the point…
April 16, 2023 10:51 pm

And yet we all have one Torah. Don’t talk as though people can do whatever they feel like and call it “frumkeit.”

SHivim Ponim LTorah
Reply to  “Different things to different people”
April 17, 2023 12:54 am

SHivim Ponim LTorah

 

Ponim, yes
Reply to  SHivim Ponim LTorah
April 17, 2023 10:45 am

Not the other end.

Really, now?
Reply to  SHivim Ponim LTorah
April 17, 2023 3:11 pm

So where do you draw the line? Is Reform or Conservative among those “shivim ponim”? What about J4J? Is anything that anyone calls “Judaism” equally valid to you?

Shivim Acor Letorah
Reply to  SHivim Ponim LTorah
April 17, 2023 4:53 pm

it is well known what the Rabeim celled ”Shivim Acor Letorah”

which is when we use Torah for our own benefits
and thereby warp the Pshat
 

Copout
Reply to  Wow, way to miss the point…
April 18, 2023 12:48 pm

Thats a cop out answer. So nowadays if we don’t want to follow something we just label it as a “struggle.” I’m not talking about hashkafa-were talking about disregard for blatant halacha. Judaism is NOT meant to be easy

0 wrong
April 16, 2023 9:53 pm

Every person has the right to do what they want as a person. If (blank) wants to dress and post pants let them do so. If your daughter sees it and is influenced that is a problem in the chinuch in your house. Your daughter shouldn’t even have access to such things. And say your daughter does want to dress like that, then let her be! Genug shoin!!

Wow!
Reply to  0 wrong
April 16, 2023 11:24 pm

WHAT! so backwards
if you raise your children like that they will all fry out

What are you talking about?!
Reply to  Wow!
April 16, 2023 11:55 pm

you are the one with a screwed up chinuch. I have lots of experience as a mechanich and I’ve seen that the method of “0 wrong” is highly effective. It produces many many generations of Chassidim and mekusharim. All I can say is good luck to all your descendants in staying on the derech. They are doomed! You’ll be lucky if you have any Jewish grandchildren.

Whatever
Reply to  What are you talking about?!
April 17, 2023 4:35 am

Whatever. This makes no sense

Azoy?
Reply to  What are you talking about?!
April 17, 2023 8:30 am

Interesting. Then according to you, why do we even have mitzvos and a Shulchan Aruch? Why, everyone should be free to choose for themselves, and then they’ll be chassidim and mekusharim!

Do us a favor and let us know where you’re a mechanech, so we know to give the place a wide berth.

Mhm
Reply to  0 wrong
April 16, 2023 11:47 pm

The fact that her daughter is being influenced can have little to do w the chinuch in her home. These days kids find access to many many things. Even in strong chassidishe homes

Agreed and Praying and Improving
Reply to  Mhm
April 17, 2023 11:25 am

Absolutely agreed. So challenging. If not in own home, out of home. Plus the girls need whatssapp to run camps or be Bnos heads. Not kidding. Doesn’t work out practically to prohibit it even though there is effort to minimize it. So much Tefilla is needed. We parents get to pray a lot and work on our own self improvement even though usually in different areas. I plan to write to the Rebbe about it and speak to my mashpia. How can I take a step to improve and in which areas that are related to the issue even though… Read more »

Azoy?
Reply to  0 wrong
April 17, 2023 8:26 am

You know that Hashem gave us 613 commandments, right? Not 613 suggestions. So whence this “right” that you claim? Speaking of a problem in chinuch…

Silly
Reply to  0 wrong
April 18, 2023 12:50 pm

You can raise your kids with the best of intentions, but if all her friends moms allow access and use those devices, no amount of good chinuch can overpower what the majority is doing.

Thank you
April 16, 2023 9:56 pm

Very well written

100%
April 16, 2023 10:02 pm

I totally agree with you. Social media influencers have the most responsibility. These days the whole word is watching you. Dont be stupid

What a way to miss the point lol
April 16, 2023 10:03 pm

Ppl making content shouldnt advertise their aveirois and be proud as if its the right thing.

I am that teen
April 16, 2023 10:12 pm

This article is on point. FRUM couples who are showing the world what a FRUM family lifestyle is need to remember that probably 50% or more of their audience is the frum community. Including vulnerable teenage girls. And these teenage girls look up to them. They are their role models. The fact that they are on such a platform makes their every move watched and copied. Please remember this before you post!! We are looking at your leggings gap, your tichel, your neck, the length of your skirt and we mimic you! As much as our parents could teach us… Read more »

As a fellow teenage girl
Reply to  I am that teen
April 16, 2023 11:26 pm

These woman/girls are who we emulate! It’s all in the legging gaps! The tichel! The length of the darn skirt! The only normal/tznius/non-pritzus woman on the cursed internet is Bella Bracha (but only the first dvd).

HA hA but no!
Reply to  As a fellow teenage girl
April 17, 2023 4:58 pm

haha ya but come on i think bella bracha 2 is also pretty tzneus no?
(as apoes to dream catch..)

Retired teenage girl
Reply to  I am that teen
April 17, 2023 12:00 am

The way a maidele dresses is an expression of her pnimiyus. It’s very possible that there are worse problems than legging gaps and necks that are boiling up inside of her, and she lets herself out with these small things. We should all be thankful to Hashem that it’s only these things and not worse.

Take a second look
Reply to  Retired teenage girl
April 18, 2023 12:53 pm

That’s how low we have sunk that you don’t even consider it a problem…”it could be worse…” Eventually we get to the point where a “chasidishe” woman is wearing a tank top and we say it could be worse. Well, that, is pretty bad.

So true...
Reply to  I am that teen
April 17, 2023 7:32 am

Agree

Social media is so sad
April 16, 2023 10:13 pm

If anyone takes a second to look in from the outside , they would see what people look and sound like. Posts and pictures underlying message sound like “look at me I’m so pretty “ “ look at me I’m super mom” “ l need attention “. A recent Washington post article called social Media the “alcohol for attention “. My favorite is people writing love notes to their 3 year old or their great grandmother on social media.

Or to their husbands
Reply to  Social media is so sad
April 17, 2023 8:49 pm

I always found it funny when people wrote messages to their spouses….why can’t you just tell them directly? Don’t you live together??????? Why does the whole world need to read your “private” message? There’s something very wrong in that

No easy answer
April 16, 2023 10:20 pm

We can play the blame game on who is responsible, we can blame the influencer we can blame the parents (for allowing smart phones) we can blame the school, hey we can even blame our neighbors on Kingston, no amount of blame will change the fact that we need to bring moshiach more than ever, so that we can all see revealed G-dliness , and the true beauty of ruchneas. I hope that we can all inspire and influence by keeping the Rebbes mission alive

I Hear your frustration.. and i'd like to tell you
April 16, 2023 10:25 pm

First off, I think there are a good handful of influencers who are doing a great job out there spreading Hashem’s message and His Torah to our youth and definitely doing their own shlichus! This is a unique type of Shlichus that did not exist years ago. The influence these people have is so great, especially over the past several years of all the new tech and social media platforms that our children are using. There is so much Torah being spread (as long as one is looking for it) obviously, there will be those who are O.T.D (On “THEIR”… Read more »

Completely agree but little typo
Reply to  I Hear your frustration.. and i'd like to tell you
April 16, 2023 11:29 pm

O.T.D stands for OFF the derech, not on their own derech, silly 🙃

I think everyone knows what the writer meant...
Reply to  Completely agree but little typo
April 17, 2023 12:02 am

Labels turn brothers into others -Seeds of wisdom. The writer beautifully depicted that idea and instead of labeling them with a negative label such as -OFF THE DERECH- decided to use such a beautiful way to depict these so-called Off the Derech youth, saying that they are -ON THEIR (own) DERECH- Meaning, on their own derech, which might take some time, love, patience and a lot of support from family and friends but definitely on THEIR OWN derech to true Yiddishkeit. Kuddos to the writer! 🙂

Do you realize the degree of kefirah we have here?
Reply to  I think everyone knows what the writer meant...
April 17, 2023 12:38 am

The writer is bringing up a very good point over here. HOWEVER a person can give a quick glance at the comment and think that the writer is saying that going O.T.D. is a good thing. And any normal person who sees O.T.D. Processes in their mind automatically “off the derech”.

THIS IS A MUST READ!
Reply to  I Hear your frustration.. and i'd like to tell you
April 17, 2023 12:07 am

Agreed, some of these influencers are posting and have a craving for likes and views as a result of their lack of self-esteem. #Mashiach Now!

Well Said!
Reply to  I Hear your frustration.. and i'd like to tell you
April 17, 2023 12:27 am

Very well said. As you mentioned discussing this topic with your children in a non-intimidating way is important and it’s important to hep our children build resilience understanding what’s right from wrong. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you 👍
Reply to  I Hear your frustration.. and i'd like to tell you
April 17, 2023 12:31 am

Thank you for such a healthy outlook on this big topic that affects many people in our community and beyond.

More people ought to read this :)

Very clearly written and your message is clear. Parents need to discuss this issue with their children in the most mature way. Whether we like it or not, there will be “influencers” out there both good and not-so-good. (on a side not, I used the term “not-so-good” as opposed to the word “bad” as the Rebbi taught us not to use derogatory and negative leshonos. For example, the rebbe often referred to hospitals (Beis HaCholim house for the sick) as Beis HaRefua (house of the healed). I agree with the writer’s lashon of OTD meaning ON THEIR DERECH a lot… Read more »

Very well written... Great job!

On point with the proper Hashkafa of a Yid, thanks for posting! 🙂

In addition, I like how the writer used OTD as ON THEIR DERECH! What a great, healthy, and positive outlook to have on these dear neshamos who have strayed. Iy”h may we see these youth and OTD influencers return and begin using their platform to spread light!

#Be A Lampligter!

Remember
April 16, 2023 10:42 pm

Tznius isn’t what makes a person frum
It’s shabbos kashrus and taharas hamishpacha

Chana
Reply to  Remember
April 16, 2023 11:32 pm

Tahara hamishpacha includes tznius the laws adhering to a women in the framework of Tahara hamishpacha and mikvah is about her being modest and dressing modest around her husband and forsure outside her home and bh the shechina is everywhere! How lucky we are that we have the laws of tznius and modesty how truly lucky we are!!

Yea
Reply to  Chana
April 16, 2023 11:52 pm

This is nicely written

Take a second look
Reply to  Chana
April 18, 2023 12:55 pm

Well said

You’re so heipech!
Reply to  Remember
April 16, 2023 11:32 pm

why do we ask the question about dipping as the first of the four questions? Because it’s all about shining a bright light on our minhagim, our FUTURE is at stake! Chevra, do teshuvah!

Take a second look
Reply to  You’re so heipech!
April 18, 2023 12:55 pm

Forget about minhagim-let us follow basic Halacha first.

lol
Reply to  You’re so heipech!
April 18, 2023 3:23 pm

lol

False!
Reply to  Remember
April 16, 2023 11:50 pm

ועוד תדע כי השונה עבירה אחת עשר פעמים. אף על פי שנזהר מכל שאר העבירות. הנה הוא נחשב כעובר על עבירות חלוקות.

Anonymous
Reply to  False!
April 17, 2023 12:44 am

source?

Rabbeinu Yonah
Reply to  Anonymous
April 17, 2023 8:42 am

Shaarei Teshuva 1:7.

Actually…
Reply to  Remember
April 17, 2023 8:40 am

…it’s following what Hashem wants even when (or in fact specifically when) it conflicts with what your nefesh habahamis says. Yes, tznius is one of those areas.

She's right
April 16, 2023 10:55 pm

But I don’t understand his that’s called a “Frum” social media influencer.. maybe some sort of Modern Orthodox.. not even sure of that…

Stop judging, if you don’t want to be judged.
Reply to  She's right
April 17, 2023 8:42 pm

Modern Orthodox is frum. Assuming your way is the only right way isn’t.

Incorrect
Reply to  Stop judging, if you don’t want to be judged.
April 18, 2023 6:16 pm

According to the Rebbe, “modern Orthodox” is “Conservative Judaism”. See Letters from the Rebbe which were recently printed in Beis Moshiach, issues 1351 and 1353

Important topic in general
April 16, 2023 11:01 pm

I don’t think it’s only about tznius. The topic of social media influencers are so much more. I overhear my children listening to some of them and they say things that are so not aligned with Torah. Not sure where they get they’re info from but it’s a shame they’re sharing things that are so untrue and Hepech Torah!!

You are your daughter’s influencer
April 16, 2023 11:06 pm

Nobody becomes an ‘influencer’ to do good. They are selling their brand and other people’s stuff to make money.

Chas veshalom!!!
Reply to  You are your daughter’s influencer
April 17, 2023 5:04 pm

chav veshalom to say that
there are tons of people and even rabbis, that tons of people look up to which are literally there just to do good!!!

maybe ur just not on social media enough…

and that beside the fact that it helps tons of women expres them selves in a kosher way
instead of CH”v turning to goyshe posts vd”L

Crown Heights
April 16, 2023 11:48 pm

Goye music: dear Poster. Please refrain from goyshe music. There’s so much Jewish music out there you can use for your background pictures and videos. Many Many do use Jewish music 🎶 but the few who don’t,it REALLY bothers me and I don’t need to hear it, or my kids. It cheapens what your trying to show.

Yes its so not right!!!
Reply to  Crown Heights
April 17, 2023 5:11 pm

it is really sad to see Frum girls and even binos heads and frum school grade accounts, that post with goyshe music in the background.
if you want to listen to this music one ur one is one thing but don’t make us all…

besides i have a daughter who started listening to a few non Jewish songs only after she heard them from background of post and enjoyed them…

its really terrible

lol
Reply to  Crown Heights
April 18, 2023 3:24 pm

Lekutei Sichos: 2:73

Maybe YOU are the problem?
April 16, 2023 11:50 pm

Although you may not want to hear this “mom of teens”, but if you raised your child differently perhaps she wouldn’t be envious of a woman who is proud to wear pants. Chinuch begins and ends at home. A love of Hashem and his Torah and Mitzvos are imbued by parents. There will always be outside influences, but the home and the parents will always be the front lines in the fight for Kedusha. Did you foster love of Yiddishkeit in a healthy way with your kids? I wonder. No no offense, but please stop blaming other things for your… Read more »

You don’t sound like a mother
Reply to  Maybe YOU are the problem?
April 17, 2023 12:27 am

You don’t sound like a mother.
Yes it’s true chinuch, passion for yiddishkeit, and a Varemeh Chassidishe upbringing are all very much dependent on the parents. At the same time, there are other influencing factors, it’s not a contradiction.

Agree!
Reply to  Maybe YOU are the problem?
April 17, 2023 2:11 am

I believe that when a mom is very confident in her ways, a healthy child will not feel the need to search elsewhere for happiness and fulfillment! I am not saying there is no such thing as a rare exception, but in the vast vast majority of cases, your point is spot-on! Let’s not underestimate the vibes in our homes!

Look at this coming Shabbos's Pirkei Avos
Reply to  Agree!
April 17, 2023 10:52 am

It’s not a matter of “searching elsewhere for happiness and fulfillment,” but as R. Yochanan ben Zakkai’s talmidim tell us, good friends and neighbors are a powerful influence for good, and the reverse is also true.

Look at this coming Shabbos's Pirkei Avos
Reply to  Maybe YOU are the problem?
April 17, 2023 10:51 am

R. Yochanan ben Zakkai asked his students to “go out and see the good way for a person to stick to” and “the bad way for a person to stay away from.” Two of them mentioned “a good/bad friend” and “a good/bad neighbor.” Not one of them mentioned the effect of the family. That might clue you in that you’re off base; outside influences are at least as important if not more so.

Look up
Reply to  Look at this coming Shabbos's Pirkei Avos
April 17, 2023 5:15 pm

What our Lubavitcher Rebbe says about the home being the influencer! This is not to say that there aren’t others, but the primary influence is from the home!

I’m pretty sure
Reply to  Look up
April 17, 2023 10:58 pm

that the Rebbe knew what it says in Pirkei Avos. The home is important, but certainly not “where chinuch begins and ends” as the above poster claimed.

Take a second look
Reply to  Maybe YOU are the problem?
April 18, 2023 1:00 pm

Let’s be honest. What’s more tempting, following rules or living a free no strings attached life? Be honest with yourself. Is it easy to grab non kosher for 1.99 or kosher for 16.99? A child can grow up in the most loving home with great chinuch, imbued with love of torah, yet they are still VERY prone to outside influences. These outside influences can be so much stronger than the home can offer. It’s just human nature. How many people from solid homes have kids that have lost their way? Yes, we can blame others as well, assuming we did… Read more »

It's up to you
April 17, 2023 12:24 am

Be the lamplighter, be the more powerful influencer that people need.

Unfollow!
April 17, 2023 12:44 am

I just unfollowed a social media ” influencer” due to her lack of tznius. I think we should all do that,as they need numbers. And nebach, they need attention. As for our kids, they shouldn’t be on social media either… yeah I know they are anyway…

Neither should you
Reply to  Unfollow!
April 17, 2023 12:20 pm

Be the example for them. If you are on it they will be too. We need a lot of introspection.

Correct but
April 17, 2023 6:21 am

These people on Instagram don’t care about being positive. They care about followers and likes and comments!
If they were not looking cool in pants they wouldn’t have a a following.
They are not doing Instagram as a mashpia they are doing it for their ego fame and money. Remember that. Every view like and comment is feeding into someone who could not get a proper job

Really ?!
Reply to  Correct but
April 17, 2023 11:33 am

It seems like you are just being jealous of influences. Seeking attention fortune and fame?! Isnt that what you are doing in your own life as well?! Or perhaps you are doing worse?! Don’t put others down when you are clearly jealous. If you were happy with your life and job, you wouldnt have even written your comment.

anonymous
Reply to  Correct but
April 17, 2023 2:36 pm

can someone please contact the clothing stores and try to get them to only sell modest clothing? (all popular stores in this country. especially tziniut stores though.)

When the Elteren/Bubby Z.) Are Cut Off (New Plague
April 17, 2023 7:35 am

What fills that gap in the family? Bubbies and Zaidies have always filled the role of Mashpia and made a safe space/haven for the struggling grandkids. Puberty is rough, siblings are sometimes rough, the educational system can be brutal. But. When (previously supportive) 60-70 year old Elteren (who somehow survived covid and the covid vax.) are abruptly ‘dismissed’ from their families, without halachic input, not given the courtesy of any explanation, nor direction on how to fix their ‘offences’ and become reconciled, the family teens loose their best, most loving, organic Influencers…What fills the gap for the teens? Does this… Read more »

Is this common?

Please explain.

Right on !
April 17, 2023 7:50 am

First off, Thank you for posting this. You framed the issue at hand in the most sensitive way possible without pointing fingers rather setting responsibility for these influencers to do better. Our children already have exposure to the goyish world and their negative influences. Can we expect at least the frum comunity to represent differently ? Our children are seeing no difference from what they do and what we do and that’s not what the Torah represents. My fear in all this are really the responses. Are people so ignorant and overtaken by the yetzer hara that they don’t even… Read more »

Report them
April 17, 2023 8:21 am

If we team together we can report the non-tznius influencers to Instagram, reporting them for ‘graphic content’, and if enough of us do it, they’ll be removed.

Mendy
Reply to  Report them
April 17, 2023 9:39 am

The they never signed up to be your child’s Mashpiah. They signed up as a brand to promote things and make money. Why would you want to be the cause to ruin someone parnassah?

i propose
April 17, 2023 9:04 am

beis din should ban any woman over 30 years old from having social media. its embarrassing for them, their kids and the people watching it.

just spend an hour going theough the local accounts, its panful. youre 35 years old acting like teenagers. and kids want to be that. pathetic.

beis din should act for their sakes

Lol!
Reply to  i propose
April 17, 2023 9:53 am

Lol! Banning things in this day and age?!

anonymous
Reply to  i propose
April 17, 2023 2:36 pm

ban it for jews of all ages

And?
Reply to  i propose
April 17, 2023 3:41 pm

What’s that gonna do?

I hear you, I really do
Reply to  i propose
April 17, 2023 8:04 pm

You’re going to laugh heartily when you become 35 and realize how young that is. You remind me of when I was 20, a lady and I began chatting at a conference and she advised that she was 30, and, lol, I expressed utter astonishment at how young she still looked. I’ve been frum for over 20 years and I blush when I think of what frum used to mean to me and I thought I was super-duper tznius. Even the Rebbetzins were surely always finding ways to be more and more tznius. It is the gift of learning and… Read more »

Take a second look
Reply to  i propose
April 18, 2023 1:03 pm

I wouldn’t say ban it , but it is pretty pathetic

even me?
Reply to  i propose
April 20, 2023 1:47 pm

Why should I not be allowed to scroll and be entertained and learn while doing that?1 I’m 45 years old and absolutely love mosesandzippora-
Iv actually be baffled and how much I have not known. I have yet to see a more put together family cool down to earth chabad family
Please correct me if I am doing something wrong here.

I think we all should should try our very best to just be better.

Clarity
April 17, 2023 10:41 am

When I was a teen my parents commented on my friends…
Today there’s social media influencers.
If a parent sets an example and shows respect to everyone’s journey while standing proud as a frum example, you will be successful.
Yes, it’s very painful to put every fibre of love and skill into raising frum daughters and she wishes she could wear pants.
Realizing a teen brain works this way and listening to your teens voice will be more effective than crying about an influencer.

Yes, clarity please.
Reply to  Clarity
April 17, 2023 2:00 pm

So we work to remove unwelcome influences/influencers, and set a positive example of frumkeit. And then, CV”S if/when our teenagers want to wear pants anyway, your answer is… let them?
I don’t believe that will solve the problem – but maybe I’m missing something?
Can we somehow listen to and honor our teens mindset and voice without having to compromise our own boundaries and standards, for at least as long as they are under our direct care?

The music tho
April 17, 2023 11:18 am

Ik not everyone will be tznius and u’ll never control what ur kids see and it’s important to know that. What u cld do is make ur house a CALM atmosphere where it’s pleasant and a kid wants to do the right thing. But more than the tznius I wld say the music that frum ppl r using for reels or on their stories is horrifying. Even if kids are already exposed to that type of music there is no reason why a frum person shld be publicly playing songs Abt things that are against Torah and outright disgusting. Most… Read more »

Fact
April 17, 2023 11:18 am

Parents are by far the biggest influencers. Put your energy in becoming the person your child wants to emulate.

Putting so much responsibility on “internet people” is giving them too much credit.

OY GEVALT!!!
April 17, 2023 12:07 pm

I agree with the statement O.T.D (On Their own Derech) You don’t know these influencers personal lives. Maybe tznius is their main struggle. Maybe she used to wear pants and now she only has a gap in her leggings. Chabad and the Rebbe promotes POSITIVITY and INCLUSIVITY and the fact that we are only seeing the negative is a major issue. We are the 7th generation! The generation of Moshiach! The only way we can bring Moshiach is by working TOGETHER. #MoshiachNow

Chabad and the Rebbe promote…
Reply to  OY GEVALT!!!
April 17, 2023 3:14 pm

…Judaism without compromises. Not an anything-goes “positivity and inclusivity.”

So much misinformation
Reply to  Chabad and the Rebbe promote…
April 17, 2023 4:37 pm

Ppl claiming to be Lubavitch and publicly dressing against our Hashkafos, being so open minded that their brain has rolled out, taking their pnimiyus with it.

Take a second look
Reply to  Chabad and the Rebbe promote…
April 18, 2023 1:04 pm

Well said…while love of every jew is important, halacha is also, which people seem to forget.

Love everyone :)
Reply to  Take a second look
April 18, 2023 3:39 pm

To love a fellow Jew just the same as you is the basis of our holy Torah. He may be far from me across the widest sea still, I’ll always love him just the same. For seventy, eighty years a Neshoma wears and tears just to do a favor for another. Love him with all your heart the heavens spread apart and have your prayers answered speedily.

And...
Reply to  Love everyone :)
April 18, 2023 5:10 pm

…loving them includes helping them back onto the straight road of Torah. Not condoning whatever they do and saying “I’m OK, you’re OK.” That’s not love; that’s indifference.

This is also
Reply to  Take a second look
April 19, 2023 7:00 pm

To love a fellow Jew is halacha!!

I AGREE
Reply to  OY GEVALT!!!
April 18, 2023 3:43 pm

AD MOSEI WE DONT WANNA WAIT WE WANT MOSHIACH NOW WE DON’T WANT TO WAIT!!!!

Mashpiim?!?!
April 17, 2023 12:33 pm

Our kids ( and teens ) are seeing all their role models addicted to their phones and social media. We are more likely to leave our child in the car then our phones !! How sad. Everyone bemoans past generations but we are raising a generation who are going to tell their therapists “ my parents ( teacher , babysitter …) cared more about their phone than me”. If rebbes and principals worry less about their “status” teachers don’t scroll in class , parents look at their kids in the park , therapists use their sessions without their phones ….… Read more »

I wish I knew
April 17, 2023 2:05 pm

I wish I knew who wrote this article. I am saddened that all of these comments are sending the response that the author did not intend to illicit. If the author reads my post, please reach out to me. I think that your post is right on the mark.

anonymous
April 17, 2023 2:33 pm

force all the jewish teens and kids off social media, the internet, and all that.

Explain
Reply to  anonymous
April 19, 2023 9:02 pm

Explain how this will solve any issues, please. They have it, and use it, banning it will make them want it more, except they’ll be using it behind our backs. Is that what you want? For your kids to have to lie to you?
How about having CONVERSATIONS with them about these things, teaching the lovingly, help guide them, and create healthy guidelines when it comes to social media.

Men Too
April 17, 2023 7:36 pm

Why does the responsibility of tznius rest solely on the women?! Men are totally innocent? I’ve seen men in tight pants and men sitting with their legs all spread apart . Make an OP ED on men!

I suggest . . .
April 17, 2023 7:44 pm

. . . a let’s-unplug event for one week. But then I thought, that would be madness. So how about for one day? And as I really thought about that realistically, considering that I am a mother, panic began to set in . . . which made me think we need to do it all the more. BUT I think it needs to be planned and and that we must have a refresher-course seminar with the primary heads being the generation of 60+ who would best remember how to run a safe, happy family and friends network with no smart… Read more »

Switch Mashpiim into Influencers 👇
April 17, 2023 9:00 pm

We can discuss about right and wrong for ever and it’s clear that our community is deeply divided. But the only thing we can agree on it’s the facts. And the fact is: 1. Most childrens spending their spare time on the social media. 2. The internet is part of our life rather we like it or not. 3. There is certain things that you can’t expect your kids to understand in a certain age. 4. We can’t fix everything in once. And there is a lot more that we can agree on this subject but let move on. The… Read more »

I know!!
Reply to  Switch Mashpiim into Influencers 👇
April 17, 2023 10:15 pm

The rebbe was so against TV. What’s on the internet is all that and more. Say wha to you want to make yourself feel better but we all know.

Read again
Reply to  I know!!
April 18, 2023 9:19 am

I agree. If he was here like before gimel tamuz we would never got to this point in the beginning. The problem is that we in that point now rather you like it or not. What you going to do about it? Deep your head in the sand or get some solutions that actually can work?

anonymous
April 17, 2023 11:10 pm

Hi, So I am believing it or not, a 14-year-old well known educator and influencer. BH, I love what I do, and it’s a huge zechus to be Elevating the world every single day. Now, hear me out. I understand what you’re trying to express in your article 100%. And you know what?! It makes tons and tons of sense. I hear that your worried about your teenagers getting influenced in the wrong way, by us podcasters. I want you to know, that I personally am a work in progress. Nobody’s perfect. Though, since I am well known on social… Read more »

welp
Reply to  anonymous
April 18, 2023 7:03 am

’14 year old well known educator and influencer’ yeah right, get off your high horse.

Tznius issue
April 18, 2023 2:48 pm

I think the biggest contributor to he tznius issue is the draconian way it is sometimes taught. Schools should really only be talking about how being tznius(in both body and mind) makes someone more dignified, not shaming people who wear red or have long sheitals.

Don't paint everyone with the same brush
April 18, 2023 4:12 pm

There are lubavitcher influencers out there that really share the warmth of and yiddishkeit and are tznius and share the right values. Careful not to label everyone the same way.

Social media is a total waist of time
April 18, 2023 5:16 pm

And leads to nothing good, only to social and emotional confusion. There should be a new law against it. Even for goyim.

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