No, I Don’t Have an Answer

By Noach Perlow

I don’t know if an op-ed is the right word for describing what I’m about to write. I don’t know if I’m interested in all those comments and commentary. I don’t know what my point in writing this is. And I don’t know if I should be writing anything at all.

But to sit back and be quiet?

It’s been 30 years. 30 years of pain. 30 years of darkness. 30 years of Golus. 30 years since Chof Zayin Adar Rishon 5752.

(To the less knowledgeable ones amongst us: On Chof Zayin Adar, while davening at the Ohel for Klal Yisroel, the Rebbe suffered a stroke. Two years later, on the same date, the Rebbe suffered a more severe stroke, eventually leading up to Gimmel Tammuz, a few short months later. There. You have it. Now what?)

For many, this day brings out bitter memories, intense yearning and a burning desire to hear the beloved voice of the Rebbe again. The voice which has not been heard in 30 years.

For others, hopefully, many others, that fateful day, inspires, encourages, and empowers them to unite and “Do all you can to bring Moshiach.”

But for most, I dare say, we’d rather not bring it up. Definitely no point in writing an op-ed about it on COLlive. Why bring up painful topics. Let us continue doing all the wonderful and amazing things we did and do to give the Rebbe nachas. To bring Moshiach.

I’m gonna guess that most or many of the readers here (myself included) were “born after”. They never heard or saw the Rebbe they love so much. Yet, they are all busy preparing for the milestone celebration of 120 years to Yud Alef Nissan. They’re working hard on giving the Rebbe the best Gift possible that will make him happy. They’re “doing everything they can to bring Moshiach.”

So why try to depress them?

And now you’re probably thinking. What’s your point in writing this? What are you trying to get to? What do you want from all those scrolling online to see the latest Mazal tov’s and hear the latest in Ukraine to actually do?

I don’t know.

After all, who does know?

Is there any stone we left unturned?

We literally attempted everything possible.

We literally did “everything we can to bring Moshiach.”

Learning and Davening. Shlichus and Mivtzoim. Studying about Moshiach and living with Moshiach. Mega projects and individual Mitzvos. Billboards and pamphlets. Flyers and Seforim. We worked on our own and we reconciled with old friends. Agreeing and disagreeing.

We sang and we danced. We farbrenged and we cried.

What didn’t we do?

In the Rebbe’s words at the end of the week of mourning for Mrs. Lapine Hy”d, days before Chof Zayin Adar:

“Bnei Yisroel are in Golus for more than one thousand, nine hundred years and Moshiach Tzidkeinu still hasn’t come!… We finished all the Avoda for the times of Golus, we tried all possible activities (including and specifically through rejoicing in Adar for sixty days) and we don’t know what more there is that can be done. And yet, another week passes, another day passes, and another moment passes and the Geulah still hasn’t come B’poal Mamosh!”

So what’s the answer?

I don’t know.

No, I don’t have any grand ideas.

I don’t have any ‘lightbulb’ solutions to our 30-year problem.

Rabbi Yisroel Meir Lau once related a question the Rebbe asked him in Yechidus. Why, the Rebbe wanted to know, is there no revolution to change the political party that held the helm of the Israeli government for forty years? Why is there such stability in the land of the most revolutionary people?

In response, he shared with the Rebbe a story about a waitress he recently met who lost her entire family in the Holocaust. When she finally remarried to try starting a new life, she lost her husband in the independence war and currently, she was waiting to hear word from her only son who was on the battlefield in the Yom Kippur war.

When he finished his story, he turned to the Rebbe and said. “Perhaps we are a bit tired of revolutions, Rebbe. We have no more strength for such things. How much more can we fight? How long? Perhaps this waitress is a living example of what my generation went through. Who is expected to go into the streets now with flags and start revolutions? All we want now is a little peace and quiet.”

The Rebbe’s eyes filled with tears and then the Rebbe emotionally said. “Now I understand. I understand very well.”

As chassidim, our generation went through a lot in the past 30 years. We have all the strength from the Rebbe to keep on doing what we’re doing, but our strength is waning. We’re tired of revolutions. All we want is for this thing to end already!

We’d rather not have to deal with the “Chof Zayin Adar” problem. We want to forget it and put it as far away as possible. We just don’t have strength to ‘deal’ with it.

But, can we really be quiet?

Can we really let such a day pass without saying to the Oibershter “ENOUGH!”

Yes, we have no more koach and we don’t know what more to do. But, one thing is certain:

30 years is not going to go by without a reaction from us.

30 years won’t pass without us putting up a fight, however small it is.

We are yet again telling Hashem that we have not Ch”v forgotten. It has not slipped our minds. We are as conscious as ever. Your kinderlach yearn to be reunited with their Rebbe, our Tateh.

How long can he suffer?

How long can our father be in pain?

Ribono shel olam, unite us with the Rebbe once again!

This Chof Zayin Adar, let us band together to say special Tehilim, to learn extra Torah – the Rebbe’s Torah, to give more Tzedaka, to increase in Mivtzoim.

Our united power is incredible. We are not deterred from the darkness. We will increase in light. We will continue “doing all we can to bring Moshiach.”

So will all this actually finally bring Moshiach?

I don’t know.

Is there anything else we can do that we didn’t do until now?

I don’t know.

When will the Rebbe be back?

I don’t know. But I know we better be ready, because it can happen at any moment.

There are many questions. And no, I don’t have an answer.

But I won’t be silent.

Rebbe. Ad Masai…