By A Grateful Single
I am what you would call an “older” single.
I went to all the right schools and seminary, I got the right job, had the right friends, but here I am.
Some say I “missed the boat.”
Don’t get me wrong, I dated. I met some really nice people, most of whom have gone on to find their other half and start a life.
I consider myself a social person, and make an effort to attend as many simchas as possible.
But then, the dreaded:
“Iyh by you!”
I know it comes from a good place, I really do!
But to be honest every time I hear it it’s another stab in the heart.
Put it this way:
If there was something wrong with me, or with the other thousands of “older singles” in my position, don’t you think that would have been brought to light by now?
My point is, we are missing the forest for the trees, so to speak.
There is a problem in the dating scene, not with me.
After a few short years of being “in Shidduchim”, I can quickly see my stock value plummet, and less and less shadchanim feel compelled to represent me. I become stale, old news, and while that notion can be excruciatingly painful in and of itself, it’s nearly impossible to “rebrand” yourself as relevant ever again.
Moreover, the misrepresentation problem is much deeper. Why is it that my parents, a few very close friends, and 1-2 shadchanim, WHO ARE SO OVERWHELMED are the only people who are “actively” (if that) trying to set me up?
It’s 2023, communication happens at lighting speed. We have WhatsApp groups discussing everything from parking spots to recipes, and everything in between!
Shidduchim, and the overall process of matchmaking and setting people up, is in desperate need of a makeover. It’s time for an upgrade.
Recently, I was introduced to an organization called Shidduch Influencers.
Besides for the tens of thousands of dollars they spend on PR and marketing to ensure this topic becomes central, and tens of thousands more on classes, podcasts, incentivizing suggestions and data compilation, they have literally taken Shidduchim into the 21st century, making EVERYONE a shadchan.
One of their mottos is amazing: “If you see someone, say someone!”
Let’s face it. We have a big problem, and I’m just a small part of it.
Our many Lubavitcher communities are blessed with so many resources and organizations to address so many problems!
Someone not feeling well? Call Hatzalah!
Someone challenged with infertility? Contact Bonei Olam!
Today, I am pleased to say that finally, an organization is in place to combat the Shidduch “crisis”, and is turning it into a Shidduch “revolution”!
Mobilizing thousands to join the movement. Thousands of Dates and 21 Shidduchim in less than a year!
In conclusion, stop saying “iyh by you!”
We are now blessed with an opportunity to actually do something about it!
Everyone has someone on their hearts and minds, in need of a Shidduch.
Don’t let the months become years.