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Why Don’t We Do More to Help With Mental Health?

From the COLlive Inbox: If we all believe mental health is so important, why are so few people willing to do more than just talk about it? Full Story

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Long story short...
January 30, 2023 12:44 pm

Humanity has worked like this: till no one complains “all appear ” fine. People in their 30s are starting to open up more because its exploding. They will not do before out of fear of reputation. Most are willing to suffer in silence then to confront their source of where their mental health is coming from. After that the rest who are in their 50s + are living this way. It’s a lifestyle that they chose and are imposing it on the next generation. Yes imposing. So why help mental health when it’s being manipulated by our elders to believe… Read more »

Would like to hear concretely what u mean by impos
Reply to  Long story short...
January 30, 2023 4:14 pm

I am so thankful to my husband for going to therapy/coaching with me to get help when needed. Our children have seen our commitment, and hopefully we’ve set an example! You really cannot hide things in your home…. & perhaps not even in our small community of Crown Heights. I admire the courage it takes to step up, & work on relationships with our spouses, our kids, etc. It is such a bracha. Cuz we KNOW, every family’s “got stuff”!

My help
January 30, 2023 1:16 pm

After seminary I went to a very well-known life coach for that I was following on Instagram, only for her to guide me in the wrong direction. I saw her for 3 months, I then went to a licensed therapist and BH I’m receiving the help I need. I learned that most times, Life coaches are people that have charisma that could have gone through a 6-week training course and are giving advice to people that is unsupported. (she also charged me more than the LMFT that I’m seeing now)

My help
Reply to  My help
January 30, 2023 2:18 pm

I had the same situation.

Don't give up.
Reply to  My help
January 30, 2023 4:22 pm

Network to find the right person who speaks to you. If something doesn’t seem right, trust your gut, & move on. It is such a great feeling to find the support we need. I don’t think we’re meant “to do our lives alone”.

A license doesn't always mean competence, either.
Reply to  My help
January 30, 2023 6:42 pm

I worked with a highly recommended LCSW, who was a disaster and caused terrible damage, reading inappropriate messages where they didn’t belong.
I strongly support the idea of therapy but have encountered too many half baked, incompetent practitioners.
Now, that’s very sad!

Reply to  A license doesn't always mean competence, either.
January 30, 2023 8:51 pm

you may have a doctor who you don’t like but they still have the necessary training.
sometimes the therapist may not be a good one to you , or it’s just not a good fit in personalities, in addition it could be that the client is not willing to change or hear anything negative about themselves, but it’s extremely important to go to someone with training in mental health not just somebody who can share good advice.

January 30, 2023 1:22 pm

Many schools provide one on one therapy for free.

There needs to be free help
January 30, 2023 2:18 pm

for adults who suffer from these issues. It absolutely helps the children when a parent’s issues are taken care of. In general, if an adult can’t be nurturing bec, of their own issues, how can the children in their care thrive?

I agree, and...
January 30, 2023 2:18 pm

Kudos to Yeshivas of Pittsburgh for their work. 

It’s not fair to assume that other schools are not doing the best they can. Many, many schools are working to meet the needs of their student body’s growing mental health concerns—perhaps it would be wise for YOP to share their wealth of resources, and their success to help other schools develop similar branches.

January 30, 2023 2:32 pm

The image is a computer. Schools need to start having staff not on their devices all day. How can our kids be healthy when their bus driver , bus monitor , teacher , coach , principal , program director and yes THERAPIST is on their phone and not fully present.

You nailed it
Reply to  Ironically
January 30, 2023 4:14 pm

The problems come FROM the computer (and anything else with a screen).

Reply to  You nailed it
January 30, 2023 9:03 pm

Hmmmm. … because there were no problems before the computer

Very First Step
January 30, 2023 2:49 pm

Let’s first get rid of the word “Mental” and change to “Emotional” Health.

Reply to  Very First Step
January 30, 2023 4:07 pm

They have a first a mental disorder and then emotional instability.

There is a difference
Reply to  Very First Step
January 30, 2023 7:08 pm

An emotional issue might be something like difficulty handling a bully. A mental health issue might be schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, OCD, addiction, etc.
While I like keeping language as positive as possible, let’s not whitewash things either.

January 30, 2023 5:12 pm

Have you ever heard of the “Neshamos” Organization? They work so hard for our children, teens and adults and have, and continue to help, anyone in our community or for that matter from outside too, regarding all types of ‘healthy mind’ issues and more. If you haven’t heard of them check it out http://www.neshamos.org.

The real problem
January 30, 2023 5:20 pm

The real problem is that the Rebbeim and educators in this community have absolutely no professional training and more often than not, don’t belong in a classroom. There are too many people that struggle with mental health for years because of the yeshivas in this community.

I understand that it’s unrealistic and frankly against the beliefs of Lubavitch to have college educated teachers in our schools, but at the very least have them trained to an acceptable standard before they ever enter a classroom.

Reply to  The real problem
January 30, 2023 9:06 pm

I know many people with a degree in Education, it doesn’t mean they know how to educate. Our Rabbeim taught clear guidelines how to be great teachers and leaders we need to have real courses on that!

Reply to  The real problem
February 5, 2023 4:39 am


January 30, 2023 8:03 pm

I was paying $200/ 45 minutes. It became unaffordable without an extra job

January 30, 2023 8:40 pm

Did the rebbe mention it in a sicha?

Other modalities not just talk therapy
January 31, 2023 2:13 pm

I come from a house of traditional therapists and I frankly don’t believe in them for the most part. Some of the best people that can guide u are not the trained therapists. The best/wisest/healthiest moms often just reserve all their time and energy for their own families only and don’t get a degree to help others. Try to seek their advice if u can. They are often brilliant, intuitive and can help u more than just another trained therapist. Many therapists go into their fields bec they have a lot of their own baggage they struggled with and often… Read more »

Reply to  Other modalities not just talk therapy
February 1, 2023 12:30 am

your house of traditional therapist might be lacking in expertise perhaps. Coloring all therapists and the entire professional mental health field as not to be believed? All moms and dads and uncredentialled foks are good sources of fundamental advice and support? How about that there’s wisdom in many places and shoddy advice in many places. Many but not all doctors of most fields are competent. Many but not all parents are good sources of support. ETC.

February 1, 2023 12:19 pm

How is it, that our generation, children, grand-children and great-grandchildren of the greatest generation is falling apart at the seams? We, the most blessed, the most secure are facing an epidemic of spiritual and mental weakness. The coddling makes us weaker and weaker and weaker. A chick has to struggle to break through the shell of egg, a butterfly out of its cocoon; help them avoid this struggle and you kill it. We are clipping our children’s wings and we are bearing the results. Time to teach resilience, inner strength and moral courage. Otherwise, I feel that the downward spiral… Read more »

Something missing.
February 5, 2023 4:48 am

One can say that teaching resilience, inner strength and moral courage is key; however, it’s HOW those elements are taught/conveyed. Sometimes unhealthy teachers or unaware parents think they are appropriately teaching those qualities you mentioned. Because of that, children may receive messages through the teacher’s unhealthy filter. I don’t have the answer, but I do think it’s important to have an educated group of leaders representing and addressing this aspect of community concerns.