By Mendy Schusterman
Sukkos has always been a time in my life that I looked forward to. Most people look forward to Tishrei, and the Sukkos holiday, for an uplifting, meaningful, and inspiring expereince. I always looked forward to Sukkos because this would be one of the few times a year I would fit in.
All year long most normal people stay sober and go about their normal functional life. During Sukkos, the normal gets reversed. Most people are getting sloshed, staying up late, and all around being dysfunctional. For a long time, I lived my whole year like this, and on Sukkos, I finally felt like I fit in.
I would go out every night drinking and causing chaos, but this was what everyone else my age was doing, so I felt normal.
Once I got sober I had no idea what I would do on Sukkos, my only concept of what Sukkos was like was drinking and partying. So my first year sober, on Sukkos I ran away. I did not want to have anything to do with a holiday I felt I could not take part in. I thought the holiday of Sukkos had nothing in it for someone who was sober.
This year I vowed something would be different, I committed that I would find something in Sukkos for a sober guy. So that’s what I did, I spent all 8 days wholly engaged in the holidays. On the first days when my shul was missing a rabbi, I was able to step in and share a speech after Kriah.
On chol Hamoed I went to Crown Heights. (The area where for many years, the most severe of my drinking took place). For the first time ever on Sukkos, I chose to farbreng and dance instead of party and drink. And on the last days of Shmini Atzeret and Simchat Torah, I was back at my shul helping out and trying to make it a beautiful Yom Tov for my community.
This Sukkos I chose to not just stay sober but to enjoy Sukkos the way it was intended. This was the most beautiful Sukkos of my life and for the first time, I can say I truly experienced a meaningful Sukkos.
Mendy Schusterman is a recovered alcoholic and addict who is currently working as a shliach in Bais Menachem Wilkes Barre.
Truly meaningful.
Tremendous respect, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your life .
SB
Brochos on your head
Thank you for sharing
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing
Truly inspired by you !
Thank you Mendy for sharing the truth, and for being an example for others.
May Hashem bless you and all people young and old to keep away from drinking and drugs. And to show that the chagim are full of love and highs because of our unity.
However, it makes me wonder what kind of (mis)education are these erroneous ideas? Anything else is simply the life of a secular drunken addict disguised as doing it for “the Mitzvah of Simcha on Sukkos”. Why does our community have so many who don’t know the difference? I spend Sukkos in CH and never encountered this, by choice. 770 is a beautiful and heilige place with very few drunk bochurim and same goes for Simchas Beis Hashoeiva. It’s in other areas (seen them on the streets) but it is simply negative behavior disguised as “holiness”. If you’re one of these… Read more »
Haha I guarantee 770 has a bit more than “a few drunk bochurim” and it’s not as holy as it used to be.
770 is one of the holiest places in the world it’s the בֵּית הַמִקְדָשׁ שֶׁבְּבָּבֶל the beis hamikdash in golus just because you see few drunk bochurim doesn’t make it any less holy
Mendy you rock!!!
Not hiding anything and being honest is so helpful to others
A true inspiration! Hatzlacha Rabba U’Muflaga in all your endeavors and challenges! Always had a special neshama.
What a positive and inspiring message! No blaming, no pointing fingers, not even playing the victim. He took complete ownership and turned his life around. I am truly inspired. I need more of this in my life NOW! Mendy you are a HEROE, you must continue to inspire others. May God grant you peace and happiness throughout your challenging journey and in all areas of your life.
I’m reading this article and my eyes are tearing up. Mendy, you would come to our house when you were in Pittsburgh. I saw what a sensitive and kind soul you are. I remember how you help a fellow bochur with autism. You were a good friend to him. We enjoyed when you came to visit and shared your week. To see you now at a place were you discovered your greatness and even more are now helping others discover their greatness is so uplifting. To not only overcome the struggle of not drinking but to be present and finds… Read more »
The most impressive part for me is honesty. He simply says what is, as is. This is so refreshing! Those who know, know that this is integral part of staying the path of sobriety. But it’s not just for those in recovery. It’s like a cold spring water in the desert world of pretences. You go man, stay the path!
Dear Mendy,
I have so much respect for you, for your willingness to open up about your challenges and inspire others!
Honest articles like this one save lives. Literally.
Thank you!
Dear mendy,
I can not wait to nominate this for col post of year……
Your are so brilliant let’s start a company together$$
We love you !!!
wilks.
We love you !!!
#wilkes.
This was my first sober tishrei as well. I gained a lot more strength reading this to continue my journey in sobriety.
From a fellow bochur, I just want you to know that we all love and respect you!
No doubt, there are others who suffer the way you suffered. I hope they read what you wrote and see that there is something great waiting for them beyond the bottle (or whatever). People have huge admiration for those who acknowledge problems, get help, and conquer those demons. Best to you.
For many, there is no such thing as a recovered alcoholic or addict. The term is recoverING, because it is a lifetime battle that is waged one day at a time. This is not just semantics…it is much like being a Beinoni! The struggle is real, and ever present! That is why we never ever offer a drink to someone who has battled alcohol addiction, so as not to cause them to stumble and fall. That said, Kol Hakovod, Mendy! You are a wonderful role model to others who will now hopefully find the courage to change the course of… Read more »
Each person has their own journey. Some who have gone through recovery choose to be called recevored because they want to see themselves as more than their battle against addiction. Some feel the constantly referring to themselves as recovering puts a lot of focus on the addiction when they are choosing to focus on the rest of their lives and not their struggle.
when i was shabbos in peabody i talked to your dad about alcohol addiction in general in yechivos and how the bochurim deal with it how it has become a disaster over the years i hope you will be an example for all of us and everyone will follow you and as we said in brunoy we don’t drink we say lechaim!
Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing your journey of transformation. What a chizuk for us all. We all have areas that we know we need to improve in yet they seem so out of reach or just too hard. Thanks for reminding us that we can do it! It’ll be hard, yet worthwhile!
Chazak vamatz!
True strength, may g-d bless you to maintain this and inspire
I am beyond impressed. I thinking my self to start 12 step program for other struggles.
Thank you for writing and sharing.
You’re a true Rockstar!
A beacon of Hope in our community!
Pittsburgh ’76
True example of taking ownership of yourself without making excuses.
Mendy, I’m grateful and honored that you allowed us to be part of your very special Sukkos, where you added simcha wherever you went. You added simcha to our sukkah, too! Thank you.
Rishe Deitsch
Thank you for writing this. This is real kindness, giving people hope.
Mendy you are truly a inspiration!
You already moved mountains in your personal life and now you are doing it for others! Such is the power of good choices no matter what it takes. May you continue to inspire and fill this world up with much light!
funny enough it took me about 6 kids plus 40 years to get to where he is at now. amazing ! happy for you. You don’t have to get trashed to feel something or be part of something. you are so so much ahead of a lot of people already.
Good luck you doing great !
Keep on growing Mendy your an inspiration to change for all of us
Kol hakavod, Mendy!! May you go m’chayal el chayol and continue to give your family such chasidishe nachas. Kol hakavod!
Thank you for sharing!
Although many people enjoy drinking, and have no issues with alcoholism, this brings much awareness that one should be mindful of those who do not want to drink, and offer them grape juice for kiddush, and water or seltzer for a lichayim.
Cool to see and rare to find stuff like this that ppl dont care what ppl will say…ur a boss and an inspiration to a lot of bochurim that u dont NEED to get drunk to have a good time.
As a mother of teens and young adults, reading this brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing and I’m sure your example is an inspiration for many young bachurim! Good for you for making the effort to find a new way to “fit in” and participate in a healthier way! May you go from strength to strength!!!
Me,Yosef Roth, and Elisha Bichler just read this article and truly felt inspired.
Mendy we love you
Proud of you Mendy. Brave of you but of course not a surprise. Love you tzadik- keep on keeping on! Your inspiring so many, including us.
Love,
Tatty and Mommy
Omg you guys must be so proud!!! You could always tell that Mendy had something special about him.
-a friend from Boston
Mendy your awsome
I feel like you can learn Chassidus all day and then you can LIVE it.
This article is a shining example of Avodah. The constant work of a beinoni. The uphill battle the Neshama faces every single moment.
You are a legend. Keep climbing to incredible heights and keep showing the world what inner work looks like.
You are an inspiration!
Recovered Alcoholic = True Hero.
איזהו גבור? הכובש את יצרו, at least in Pshat, simply means controlling behavior, speech, thought. A truly sober and recovered alcoholic has gone deep to the core and worked on the process of revealing his/her inherent self, with honesty and without shame. When someone like you Mendy shares vulnerably from their inner self it radiates with the POWER of essential EMES. And words that come from the heart enter the heart. May Hashem bless you to continue mechayil el chayil mitoch harchavah bgashmiyus vruchniyus gam yachad non-stop until MOSHIACH NOW!
So many of us learn Tanya and discuss overcoming our desires, transforming our desires. Yet how many of us work on real change? How many of us make the same birthday hachlata each year, just to find ourselves still struggling with it a year later? Thank you to this precious bochur who shares his journey and inspires us with the down-and-dirty reality of struggling with our yetzer. Thank you for your honesty and integrity. May Hashem bentch you with hatzlacha in reaching ALL your goals, and even beyond that.
With Appreciation,
A shlucha with B”H a number of teenage sons
Your article touched my heart and even though I don’t know you I am so proud of you! Alcohol is a dangerous drug and needs to be handled with extreme care.
reb mendy, chazak! this is what maturity is all about. we all make mistakes.
that’s just the way it is. it takes strength to recognize it and retrain ourselves.
yes you are my rebbi, our rebbi. thanx for teaching us by example.
Firstly, it’s amazing that you have found the strength and stamina to choose sobriety and stay sober. No one should be drinking just because, especially if it’s more than what the Rebbe says or they begin to act in any type of inappropriate behavior. And generally young bochurim should not be drinking at all, it’s not healthy on many levels. However, to say that most guys your age are getting drunk and that pretty much everyone on Sukkos is living a dysfunctional life is simply not true. I look around and see so many who are not drunk. And dysfunctional… Read more »
May G-d continue to bless you with sobriety, one day at a time
Lets go Mendy! You da man! Keep it up inspirin’ the masses!!!
Mendy, wow what inspiration. Your are truly a powerhouse. May Hashem bless you with strength on your journey and to continue to inspire others. Very proud of you.